


Devilman: The (not so) secret service

by Fiana



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), Devilman Crybaby - Fandom
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Akira and Miko are BROS, Akira has anger management issues, Alternate Universe, And also lacks a bit of confidence, And the epitome of good at EVERYTHING, Attempt at Humor, Blood and Violence, But he tries HIS BEST OK?, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rivalry, Ryo is a smug bastard, Self-Esteem Issues, Spies & Secret Agents, Torture, Trust Issues, a lot of fighting, and they use demon names as code names, everyone here has a potty mouth, secret service au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-04-22 02:05:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14298393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiana/pseuds/Fiana
Summary: Secret agents are cool, right? Well think again.AKA the secret service au no one asked for and that's always in between crack and serious.





	1. Debt (AKA the Coímbra affair)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! And I'm so nervous about doing this OMG. This is my first fic posted on my own, EVER, so I'm so not ready, but sometimes you have to push yourself. Jump to the pool even if you aren't sure there's water there. 
> 
> So, before jumping right to the fic, I don't have a "formal" beta yet so if someone wants to offer any help in that area it would be highly appreciated :) in addition to that, sorry for any mistakes, I did check it quite a few times but shit happens
> 
> Also, I tagged Torture, Blood and Violence because yes, there is a lot of that. However I don't think it is THAT graphic, but that's my opinion and it's totally biased since I have a very high tolerance. Although it IS going to become more graphic as the story progresses.
> 
> Last but not least, you are more than welcome to join me on Tumblr to yell about random stuff (mainly characters) *basically this is me telling you guys talk to me on Tumblr because I'm so new to all this and have no friends, please I'm lonely* 
> 
> My tumblr: https://mar-the-peque.tumblr.com
> 
> And like always, for each comment you leave, God gives an angel a brand new pair of wings. But really, if you liked it, please let me know. Also, constructive feedback is the best you can give me :)
> 
> Ok, with no further ado, I'll leave you to read the fic, Enjoy!

He knows he fucked up. He definitely knows it. However, admitting it? Never, that part lives three neighborhoods away and it’s separated from him by a giant ass wall titled “PRIDE”.

So no, Akira Fudo never admits to things. Ok wait, that’s not completely correct. He doesn’t admit to certain things. And by “certain”, everyone who knows him –or everyone who has spent at least some time with him and was slightly observant– understands that it basically means “anything Ryo Asuka tells him”.

But no, before you think he’s being biased, the answer is no. According to him, of course. According to everyone else in the headquarters, the answer is a huge yes. It’s not even arguable; whoever you ask in the HQ will answer in milliseconds and without stuttering. They may take some time if you ask them about other aspects of Akira’s life, like his birthday, favourite colour, family members or even blood type –something they should know considering their line of work. This however, they answer on the spot, without even having to stop whatever they are doing.

This is probably the only thing everyone at work agrees on.

Well, that and the fact that Akira needs to get laid ASAP.

That’s another question they’ll answer on the spot and without even thinking about it. It’s fascinating, and honestly quite Pavlovian, how these extremely trained people can answer _‘fuck yes’_ after being asked if they think Akira’s anger management issues come from being sexually frustrated. Akira hates them all. He hates them with a mighty strength.

Although, right now, he feels like he needs an extra pair of hands to help him, because if what the blond bitch had told him weeks ago was the truth, then he’s about to get his balls chopped off.

Literally.

As soon as he wakes up he knows the situation, he doesn’t feel dizzy or disorientated for more than roughly ten seconds. The world spins for just a short fraction and then it settles, blurry lines defining at the edges and light –even if dim– becomes bearable. After that, his mind starts to work, fast and efficient like it should constantly do but refuses to. His brain seems to only want to work when he is hanging feet up and head down, while being five metres above the ground. He cannot complain, thought, since it could be way worse.

His mind could be completely out of it, not allowing him to even think of a way out.

He could be ten metres above the ground, making the fall way more painful.

He could be hanging from his dick, making the possibility of sex or children impossible.

After all, he knows that gangs like this one don’t shy away from castrating people if they see it fit. And it makes sense, if he were to think about it, because it’s painful, it makes the message clear and the person, if taken to the hospital, can survive –leaving them to a lifetime of suffering and dickless fun. Also, he _is_ getting castrated if he doesn’t escape. But, so far, he’s just hanging from his ankles. The links of the chain click against one another as he moves a little to test how tight the grasp is. _Very_ , he decides after moving from side to side and realizes the chain hasn’t given in.

Head up and feet down but he’s still able to see his surroundings. He thanks whoever dimwit decided that blinding him wasn’t necessary, because now he confirms he is where he thought, and he also adds to that knowledge the fact that he knows a way out. If only the chain was looser. _‘My head doesn’t hurt much’_ he thinks suddenly, which means he hasn’t been hanging for a long time, surely less than ten minutes. Because, even though they are trained to handle and endure things like this, there’s a limit to how much you can push your body. Akira in particular knows his limits since he’s constantly trying to go over them, just as if they weren’t real. However, they have proven to be real enough last time he had tried to stay underwater for more than five minutes and emerged with a raging nose bleed.

But he still tries and he gets results. Not as fast as he wants, but he does and it should be enough. That last is just according to his mom. According to him, it is simply not enough. _‘Why the fuck am I thinking about my mom?’_ he wonders and yes, you have to agree with him on that one. He should be looking for a way out, but he already knows his only way out is wait for the guys to come and pick him up. His hands are heavily linked together by the same chain that has him connected to the roof. He cannot separate them from his body since the chain snakes around him making one, two, three! turns around his whole torso and lower body. And just to make sure he doesn’t fall, because these guys are sweet like that, they made it go over each of his shoulders before twisting it around his body, just to assure a safe hanging.

Aren’t they darlings?

Akira grunts while trying to figure out how many times the chain goes around him in total, but he can’t tell for sure. Probably three in his torso and lower body, maybe one in each shoulder, perhaps two around his wrists and, who knows, four around his ankles? Who can actually tell, right? Definitely not him. His face itches and he wants to yell. It just couldn’t get worse, could it? Oh yes, of course it could, because life is nothing more than an inveterate bitch who just longs to show him how wrong he is. He honestly should have known by now. Because not only is he completely tied up, he also has duct tape all around his neck and covering his mouth. _‘Fuck me gently’_ and he closes his eyes and grunts. He repeats to himself that it can always be worse and he puts his mind into working, because even though he needs to wait for someone to put him down, as soon as he is slightly less confined, he has to get the fuck out of this place. He notices, then, that he is half dressed. And so he has to thank –again– to whomever decided to allow him that small mercy.

 _‘Think, what was the last thing you did before getting in this situation?’_ and so he remembers having picked up his phone. He had been talking to someone in his room when another someone, someone from the gang, told him to go out with them for drinks –which he couldn’t deny– and that’s the last bit. So, two things were blatantly obvious.

One: they already knew who he was and so they decided to get rid of him in the most gruesome way. A way that would warn future agents, making them sure they are careful with this particular gang.

Two: someone had blown the whistle and had sold him. Because he had been so very deft at covering his own ass, it couldn’t have been something he had done. It was obvious there was a mole and that that same mole had handed Akira to the bad guys. He was going to have such a blast discovering who the mole was. Just the mere thought makes him get giddy with excitement.

Small joys he gets to take pleasure in, you know?

An extra minute went by and there is no sign of anyone coming to pick him. _‘Maybe they want to kill me like this?’_ but he discards that just as fast as it comes to his mind. This was way too gentle; this was not the way they got rid of people –specially people like Akira who worked for a secret service. So no, they weren’t coming for other reasons. But just as he tries to imagine said reason, the thick, iron gates open and seven people walk in, noisy and already laughing at the possibilities. Because, even if they are in a gang, is not every day that you get to torture an agent, so they must be having such good time with just the idea of it. Probably the highlight of their week, right next to selling meth and beating people up with a bat.

Still while being upside down, Akira identifies them. Because, for once, he is just _that_ prepared, thank you very much. And secondly, none of them is wearing something to cover themselves. He would call them out for their stupidity, but if he has to think of numbers they definitely have the upper hand and he’s definitely in disadvantage. Then, why would you cover your face if you are literally about to kill the person who saw you? Also, doesn’t make that much sense to care for your identity because Akira already knows each one of them. Except one dude who he thinks might be called Kaim, but he is not placing any money on that statement.

“Look at the little thing hang, he is gonna be fun to chunk” and Akira loathes him for thinking they can actually _‘chunk’_ him so easily. _‘Fuck them, all of them, very hard’_ he thinks like a mature, grownup human being while he’s being pulled down with no delicacy whatsoever. Actually, all the dudes laugh trying to make him swing, resulting in multiple hits to his sides, back and front, as the outcome of his body greeting the walls. If they get his face against a wall, they congratulate each other particularly loud. One metre away from the floor, they let go of the chain completely. It doesn’t need a genius to guess that Akira couldn’t cushion his fall, therefore resulting in his shoulder and head taking the worst of the experience. Luckily, as he had been swinging –a lot– he didn’t go head first.

Tiny victories he celebrates.

Four dudes force him up and they drag him to the room next door. His back is yelling from being against the hard, rough floor, but he doesn’t let them see it. He is dragged for more than mere few metres and, while he is looking at the ceiling, he notices it is veneer. So yes, he’s definitely at one of the warehouses he had visited with these dudes, the ones that are right in the outskirts of the city.

They open a door that was the one Akira had seen before when he had thought that was his way out. They step in the room and this one is even darker than the previous one. He controls his breathing just the way he was taught, his body rushing with adrenaline as he knows his chance is approaching. As soon as they let their guard down, he’s coming for each one of them. Especially the one that laughed the hardest when they hit his face against the wall while swinging the chain.

They sit him down and speak in Portuguese now. _‘Ah fuck them for speaking a language I don’t understand completely’_ but he is actually able to make out some words –which are probably, for him, the most important. He hears _‘castrar’_ and he knows they are thinking about chopping off both his balls and dick. His mind goes fast, he thinks of possible ways of loosening the chain, of ways to get his feet free, of ways to eviscerate all of them –that last one being the easiest but the least useful so far, because if he doesn’t break free right now, having thought of how to eviscerate each one of them, in an extremely painful fashion, will be of no use. At all.

And he hates when things end up begin of no use at all.

His legs are too together and the chain is exactly there, so they cannot accomplish their goal without unchaining him first. They need to do it if they decide to proceed with the castration and that’s his ticket to get out of the whole fucking situation. He feels like crying for whomever decided to chain him in this way, they will be in his prayers for the rest of his existence. Three of the men are discussing something related to football close to the door and the other ones are getting ready to unchain and then tie Akira all over again, but this time assuring access to what they need. One of them, a sadistic piece of shit, says that it would be better if Akira didn’t have that duck tape on his neck and mouth, that way they would hear him _‘berrar’_ more clearly. Akira is not exactly surprised, really he is not, since probably most of the guys in these types of gangs get off to torturing people and definitely come in their pants while cutting a limb or two. He can see it in their eyes, the urge to hurt for just the sake of it and the raw need to hear someone in pain while their life fades away. Akira would never understand that type of drive.

However, it doesn’t change their motivations and it doesn’t change the fact that one of them brings a knife –too small for it to be the one they plan on using with the removal of junior. The cutting edge of the knife graces his skin with no delicacy as it goes from his collarbone to his cheek. He knows there is a cut, not too deep, otherwise he could die due to blood loss and God forbid it. _‘That would be such a downer for you guys’_ he thinks when he considers the possibility of them killing him accidently, without achieving their goal. He knew it wasn’t going to happen. After all, this really was the highlight of their miserable weeks, remember? That didn’t change the fact that his breath got caught in his throat as he felt the point of the metal travel over his skin, leaving one clear –but not deep– footprint behind.

Then, with even less delicacy or consideration, another guy that comes from his left yanks the duck tape, but only the half that leaves his mouth free. Oh how Akira wanted to complain at that. He feels his skin sting and burn and he knows its tan colour is changing to a reddish one. Using his mouth, he takes a deep breath. “Well, you can guess where this is going, right?” one of the dudes goes and Akira sees all seven of them in his line of vision. He thinks he can take three of them at the same time, but that leaves him with four that are free to smash his head with an iron pole.

“No,” he starts with his throat complaining a bit, “I’m afraid, gentlemen, I don’t know where this is going because there is a difference between scum and I” and then he feels it. As soon as he finishes his comeback –witty only to his ears–, he feels pain in his left leg, piercing through his whole body and he takes a few seconds to breath even deeper. He will not complain and he repeats that in his head as a mantra. Immediately, his head hangs and he exhales, heavily, and that’s when he sees that the cause of the strong –yet familiar– pain was a pocket knife. One that was firmly fixed on the outer side of his thigh.

“Let’s see how smart you are once we are done with you” another one says while gripping his hair and forcing him to see all of them, just to make the point across that they are more and that Akira has no advantage whatsoever. Akira notices that they only two are carrying guns. _‘Dumb pieces of shit’_ he mocks them in his mind. He hears them work with the chains and his heart rate begins to fasten, pumping even harder than before in order to get him ready for what’s coming. Akira breathes slower and counts to thirteen in Italian to regain some sort of control. He wasn’t the smartest one when it came to dealing with people, specially when he was angry at those same people. He wasn’t going to try to deceive them, that wasn’t his strength. Also, they already knew who he was so it made no sense. His mouth had always had a mind of its own and in moments like these one he could see it clearly.

He feels his ankles free and he waits. He has to be patient and he takes that time to asses everyone’s position. One of the guys with a gun is currently working on the chain, just like other two more. The dude with the gun is in front of him, his left leg pressing on both of Akira’s knees to keep him in place while his upper body is leaning to Akira’s left so that he could work on his wrists. The dude is purposefully moving his leg so that his knee touches the pocket knife on his thigh a few times, making waves of pain go through Akira’s body. The other two are one to each side, working on his torso. _‘_

 _That makes three’_ and then he glances to his right side, where two more are preparing everything, backs turned to him and looking at a table where everything they need to assure some wholesome fun is placed. _‘Five and none of those has the other gun’_ he counts.

He glances over the other guy’s head, the one working with the chains around his torso, and that’s when he sees the other two. Both of them are carrying handcuffs and he presumes they are to keep him in place once the chains are out.

His wrists are free and the two holding the handcuffs get closer to put them on. The chain falls completely once the guys in charge of his torso and shoulders are done, and he feels so much lighter now. His heart beats louder than even and he takes three breaths. As soon as the man with the gun starts to draw away, not even seconds after his wrists have been freed, Akira turns his head to his left and bites his neck. Hard. His teeth cut his skin as if it was nothing and he tastes blood immediately after closing his mouth. The man cries in pain and goes for his gun, but Akira is faster and fueled by rage.

He stands up, putting his weight on his good leg, and throws the chair to his left side, where the handcuff dudes are ready to pounce. With his other hand he fishes the gun before the other can. As soon as he has it he lets go of the man’s neck, turns around and uses him as cover. Akira goes against the wall to protect his back and shoots twice to the bleeding man’s back. He tries to aim for his heart and he surely nailed it. Four of them, except the ones with the handcuffs who had been hit by the heavy, wooden chair, are getting closer and Akira doesn’t hesitate. They don’t have a gun but they seem to think that they can overpower him, which could happen if Akira wasn’t as good of a shooter as he is. But if Akira is good at something, that is shooting, so it doesn’t happen. Quick and experienced he shots eight bullets, confidence rushing through his veins once he is finally free and has a gun weighting in his grasp. Each of them gets to their targets and all of the men fall to the floor, having received two bullets to the heart –or close– the agent is sure they are dead.

He knows that if the charger is full he counts with twenty bullets, so he doesn’t stop to think about the possibility of the charger not being full for too long. He trusts it is and it’s already too late to consider that, he is already shooting two more bullets to one of the handcuff pair, but only one gets him and just graces his leg. Both bitches are hiding behind the iron doors while Akira is gripping a dead body’s shirt to keep the corpse in front of him. _‘Fuck my luck’_ and he curses out loud.

With the dead body covering him, Akira waits. Suddenly, he sees one of them peek from behind the door and he doesn’t have to think about what to do. The man goes down to cover himself fast, but he isn’t fast enough. One of Akira’s bullets gets his hand and the man wails at that. The other, the one without a gun and with his leg slightly hurt, screams that he turns himself in and promises he won’t try to kill Akira.

The agent lets go of the dead body. “Come out and kneel in front of me” he orders while the other man, the one that had only one functioning hand with him could be heard cursing and screaming. The guy without the gun comes out immediately, obeying Akira without any problems. He kneels and doesn’t look at Akira, who is now pointing at him while moving to the door to search for the other man, the one with the gun. The one that was still yelling in pain.

Even though they were gang member, a bullet to the hand is definitely painful nonetheless. So, maybe that’s the reason why Akira didn’t stop himself to think that he was doing what the other man wanted, and only considered it once he was there in front of him and felt a bullet go right to his calf. “Fuck!” and this time he doesn’t care if they hear him complain, he is in fucking pain and high on adrenaline.

He falls as his legs are both useless now but he makes himself go against the door, searching cover. The man that had been kneeling goes to immobilize him and tries to take his gun. Akira doesn’t let go of the gun and shoots two more bullets from behind the iron door and the man without a gun is dead on the floor. The agent doesn’t let himself be scared and also has the other at gunpoint, two bullets away from dying. “Let go of the gun” he tries to reason, but the man doesn’t. “You are no match for me, you are just an oversized school bully, and before you can pull the trigger you’ll have two bullets in your brain, ok?” and it’s true, but he is still in a vulnerable situation: bullet in his calf and pocketknife in his thigh.

The other man doubts for a second and that’s enough for the brunette. Akira pulls the trigger twice. But no bullet comes out. The charger wasn’t to its fullest and he feels his eyes physically become bigger at the acknowledgement of that piece of information. A void becomes present in his chest, creating a sensation of dread at the turn of events. The other man laughs without real humour and stands up, finger already on the trigger and ready to pull it. _‘I’m really going to die, aren’t I?’_ Akira despairs, already out of resources and on the floor, legs incapable of keeping him up. His mind goes blank, no ideas coming to port.

He takes the pocketknife from his thigh and thinks it can be of help, pain numbed thanks to adrenaline and whatever else his body is segregating. However, the other man is already in front of him and with his gun staring at the younger boy. _‘Everything is wrong, this shouldn’t be happening, I was prepared and only one week away from finishing this mission, this is not how things are supp–‘_

He hears two shots before he feels them. But then some seconds go by and doesn’t feel anything at all.

He notices his eyes had been closed, so he opens them and sees a red stain forming in the other guy’s t-shirt. That’s when he knows, he couldn’t feel it because the other man had been interrupted mid shooting.

When the giant finally falls down, red stain now even bigger as blood was coming straight from his heart, Akira turns to his right and sees the responsible.

And he feels like vomiting.

And crying.

All at the same time.

He feels like going back to the other dudes, the ones that had been trying to castrate him. Anything would be better than having to thank the smug motherfucker right by the door they had used to get him here. The man –or bitch, like Akira prefers to call him– is positively mocking him with that shit eating grin on his face, knowing fully well that he just saved Akira. His blue eyes shine with humour and confidence and his pale skin makes him stand out even more in the dimly lit room. Protective gear all in place and without a single drop of sweat adorning his features, meanwhile Akira is on the floor with blood all over his body and incapable of standing up alone.

The brunette wants to say something, but he doesn’t get to do it, because an entire group of agents is coming in to get him out. They surround him and bring the medical team with them and in nothing but seconds his wounds are being taken care of. Suddenly, the place is flooded with people all around him. He’s sure that he can count ten people diligently doing whatever the person behind the intercom says. Then, there is the medical team, three more, who ask him some basic questions just to test how present he is.

They check him with precision and swiftness, no fraction of time lost. Once they are sure he is mostly okay and that he needs to be attended somewhere else, they tell him they have to leave the premises immediately; that _he_ –more precisely– has to abandon the place and leave the rest to his co-workers.

 _“Good job”_ and _“you are fine, we are going to help you”_ are repeated while they secure him. He doesn’t answer or asks any questions, he is just trying to keep up. Everything happens so fast, too fast, he can’t stay in tune with everything around him. His body is still high on danger and the verge of death, so all the action going on is just over stimulating his very tired brain. Akira only knows he is being carried and when he is being put inside and ambulance, he exchanges looks with the bitch. He exchanges looks with the person he loathes the most and who also happens to be the person who saved him.

 _‘Life is indeed bitchy’_ he can’t stop himself from thinking. Ryo Asuka, just in front of him but on the other side of the place –next to the other agents and in complete control of what he is doing– elegantly laughs at him, mouth stretching and forming a smile that exudes utter assurance, and mouths something before going inside the warehouse to raid it completely.

_‘You owe me’_

And the only thought that crosses Akira’s mind as he is being put to sleep thanks to a horse tranquilizer, is that his ability to hate someone is even more impressive than he had originally thought.


	2. The hospital affair.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He seems to really hate himself more and more since the only thing he has been doing for the past week is remind himself that he actually, ACTUALLY, owes something to the self-centered, selfish, cut-throat blond that is politely smiling right in front of him. A blond who just happens to be managing a bouquet of flowers on one hand and balancing a cake on the other, black, thin and italics writing saying 'Sorry, but I had to'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm really sorry, I tried to get this out earlier but lot of shit happened in general and then my computer decided to go all ''bye bitch'' and deleted everything I had written, so yeah, shit.
> 
> Second of all thanks to everyone who actually left comments or kudos here :D you make my day so much brighter ♥ knowing that someone is really waiting for this to be updated motivates you like nothing.
> 
> So, like always, if you find any mistakes, ANY, feel more than free to point them out (because like always you check and check but there's always something that you just couldn't see). Unbetaed, I die like a man here.
> 
> So, I think that's it for now, and UPDATE this is actually having a ''plot'', LOL right?
> 
> Like always if you liked this let me know! I'll leave my [Tumblr](https://mar-the-peque.tumblr.com/) here in case you want to come chat, or ask me about the state of the fic or anything related to it, or just stuff in general. Also I'm thinking about doing requests and I'll prolly start posting some part of the chapters to come there before posting them here :)
> 
> So, with no further ado, I'll leave you to the chapter, enjoy!

The Hospital affair. 

 

 

_“Candidate Asuka, candidate Fudo and candidate Kuroda, congratulations you are part of Devilman from now on” the soothing but serious voice of Fudo Kaori said, heart so full of pride it was impossible for her to conceal her smile. It wasn’t as big as other smiles Akira had seen on his mother’s face, but it was still as fulfilling and it made Akira’s chest enlarge with unspoken satisfaction. Akira is sure everyone can see his dumb expression of happiness but he doesn’t pay any mind to any of the people around them. Luckily this first ceremony was really private and just with the candidates and the most important members inside Devilman welcoming them._

_Miko sees his expression and can’t help but snicker behind her hand._

_Akira moves his foot slightly to his left and crushes her pinky with the tip of it, advantage here being the fact that his shoes are Oxfords, whereas Miko’s are stilettos, so it’s incredibly easy for Akira to step on her foot while it is infuriatingly hard for the girl not to punch him in front of their superiors –Akira’s mother herself being one._

_Noel Makimura, another very important member of Devilman, starts speaking and his speech is definitely inspiring. Miko thinks she could for sure enjoy it if Akira’s foot wasn’t crushing her pinky with so much determination. ‘Serves you right for two days ago at Panda Express,’ Akira’s eyes say when they lock eyes and she can’t believe she is actually friends with this person who has such high levels of pettiness within himself._

_‘Whore, I already explained’ she wants to yell so that the entire room knows they are ranking this cheap human above her inside the Devilman’s rankings. Because Miko was sure Akira had better results than her, and if she had to be honest he fully deserved them. However, there seems to be a connection in Miko’s brain that is directly linked to the amount of pain her pinky is suffering that makes her see Akira as an immature human being, a feeble excuse for a grownup._

_Although, even when he is not stepping on his pinky, she also sees him like that._

_Akira’s poker face had got better as years had gone by, it had been carved by years of training and he is proud when he notices no one sees his mean behaviour. However, just as he is about to lift his foot, he looks to his left to bask in Miko’s misery –‘Serves you right for Panda Express,’ his mind roars– but he sees another set of eyes watching him intently. A set of blue eyes that are utterly judging him and disapproving of what he is doing. Ryo directs his severe, sideways gaze to Akira’s foot and then back to his face, his stare harder and cooler than ever. Akira’s first response is to lift his foot, quickly, and he doesn’t have time to question why was he triggered to do that in such a way. Ryo’s look was so full of meaning, it made him remember that time when he was eleven and had been caught by his mom doing something he wasn’t supposed to._

_But there’s a difference between Ryo and his mother, Akira weights. He cares about his mother, he loves her, while Ryo could be asking for toilet paper and suffering diarrhea, and Akira would film it to send it to everyone they know. So he doesn’t understand why he feels as if he was caught doing something that was completely out of order, not because Miko was uncomfortable –after all they had done worse to one another–, no, it wasn’t that. It was as if he didn’t want Ryo to judge him or disapprove of anything he was doing._

_The thought hits him so hard he feels the raw need to go against it._

_So he steps on Miko’s pinky even harder than before._

_And yet the girl complains with such finesse and elegance, Akira knows he wants to be like her when he grows older –even if they are the same age. He also retrieves his foot as a sign of major respect. However, that wasn’t enough and everyone around notices there’s something wrong. Noel Makimura interrupts his speech right where he was getting to the part of talking about the great deal of responsibility they have in their hands, but doesn’t ask immediately what’s wrong.  “Are you feeling alright candidate?” he asks and Miko smiles so naturally Akira is reminded why he still has so much to learn from his best friend. She is able to mask everything, even older and more experienced agents have such a hard time when they try to figure her out, or when they try to see if she’s really lying. Fuck, even the polygraph isn’t able to get the truth out of her, she is able to fool it eight times out of ten and that’s just out of this world. The only person having a better record being the blond candidate, but Akira likes him way too little to give him any credit or acknowledgement._

_“Just a cramp, sir, I am deeply sorry I interrupted you. It has been bothering me for two days already, hasn’t left me alone since eating at Panda Express” and even though some people wouldn't give a shit for something like that, Miko makes it believable and makes everyone feel sympathy for what happens to her. “That’s unfortunate indeed candidate, remember to always stretch correctly and include a good amount of potassium in your diet” Akira’s mother says, being motherly even at the work place and  Miko thanks her with a true smile this time._

_Akira can’t help but look at his friend with admiration at her ability to sell everything, her ability to make everyone believe her lies and make everyone feel real concern for whatever bullshit comes out of her mouth. She is so full of shit, she might as well be called a toilet._

_Akira feels a pair of heavy eyes on him –again. And he thinks ‘again’ because he knows that gaze since it belongs to someone extremely full of himself and who Akira had to endure not only for the past years of training, but also in his private life. Ever had that person that is your same age who you hate so much, yet for some reason –that slips way past you– your parents love? A person that, in addition to being part of your workplace acquaintances, you have to endure at your house during reunions and celebrations because your parents and theirs just happen to be really good friends and basically love to spend several hours together?_

_In this case adoptive father, but his father nonetheless._

_Well, that person is Ryo in Akira’s case._

_And he stares back just as intently for a few seconds, but he is cut once his mother starts talking again to inform the ranks. He perks up as if he was a German shepherd waiting for his owner’s treat. Because if Akira is something, that is definitely positive._

_In general._

_But today he hopes he is getting that treat he –in his humble opinion– totally deserves._

_And he really is positive and hopeful. He works hard, harder than anyone and he believes, firmly, that results are meant to appear and efforts valued once you’ve worked hard enough for you to be deserving._

_His dream was to become a part, a very important and vital asset of Devilman. Since he was a child that had been his sole dream and now he is already living it.  He still remembers his reaction when he had read his results and knew he was part of something bigger than himself, something that had the aim of helping people and give him a purpose so deep he felt he would never need anything else in life.  His stats were great, his written exam had been excellent –because he had burnt his eyelashes while studying– and in practical abilities he was one of the best. The only person able to go head to head with him being –and he has to repress the urge to scoff before thinking his name– Ryo Asuka._

_With the difference that Ryo has something many people would kill for: Natural talent._

_So Akira believes in hard work and perseverance. And even if during some days it is really hard to remind himself that this is the only way to greatness –specially during those days in which he practices with the blond and the bitch effortlessly gets everything absolutely right in just one try–, he believes he has a chance to snatch the highest ranked name in Devilman._

_The name of Satan._

_Because that’s the higher you’ll ever get, unless you want to change to the administrative part of the business which is honestly so dull to Akira’s eyes._

_But it is not the highest in rank, not really. After all, rank comes due to years and years of having worked inside the service and, mainly, having done things the right way. So, really, it is not the highest in rank because everyone who has another name but has been in the business for a longer time than you have can order you around. But the name is charged with so much symbolism and it's almost deserving of worship according to some agents. Not only because Satan is the most well-known, not completely. It is because everyone who has ever carried the name of Satan was someone who later became great, someone who was never forgotten inside Delvilman. Satan is a name that carries great responsibility, is a legend and promises respect and a great future to its bearer._

_Satan is a name not everyone gets. It is both a blessing and a curse, it marks you with grandeur but it’s heavy on your shoulders._

_And Akira thinks his hard work makes him deserving. He thinks he deserves to carry the name of Satan just like his father had done before retiring._

_“From today on you serve a higher purpose than you would have ever got individually. From today on you stop being individuals and are part of Devilman with everything that means. Now, it’s time to assign the names,” Kaori says and Akira can’t contain his anxiousness anymore, he feels he is about to explode and his stomach is performing some parkour feats inside his body. “However, we had some problems this year, it was the hardest part of this whole situation. Also, the original plan was to keep only one of you to occupy the position of our regrettably deceased Satan, but you have proven to be worthy, all three of you, so we had to adapt our plans to the circumstances at hand” his mother finishes and Akira knows he is not the only one having an awful time with trying to keep himself together. Miko is positively tapping her fingers against her skirt as she is keeping any trace of distress out of her face._

_“With this being said, we still haven’t decided on each of your names. In addition we haven’t yet received the new authorized names for the other two agents who are not going to be under Satan’s name” Noel explains calmly, and Akira can feel himself deflate at the statement, air leaving his body in a sharp exhale that takes all enthusiasm with it. He wanted to know already because if this type of thing continued, he was going to end up bald from the stress and physical toll the selection had already left on him._

_Kaori steps in front of them once she goes around the oak desk which had a carving scene of the apocalypse right in the front. She hands them three deep maroon envelopes, paper thick and refined and with Devilman’s logo –the head of Baphomet inside a pentagram. As soon as Akira has his envelope, he turns it to the other side and sees Devilman’s seal keeping the letter closed. “You may open it” and immediately all three of them do so, not even doubting for a second._

_Akira thinks this is probably the first time he sees such a reaction from Ryo, always so seemingly calm and collected. Now he is practically tearing the seal apart with not a single care. Ryo is already opening his mouth to talk about something when Akira is just starting to read the paper after having stared at the blond for quite some time. After all, it was not everyday that you got such a reaction from that robot._

_He for once seemed human._

_“So until the naming ceremony we won’t know our ranks?” the blond asks. Miko was just about to finish reading everything too and incredulity is all over her face because she hadn’t even got a spoiler alert from Ryo, he just opened his mouth and asked while the girl hadn't got to read that part yet._

_Akira doesn’t even bother with finishing the letter, he already knows the most important piece of information. “So until then you keep us waiting, again” and he tries, he really, really tries to keep his voice leveled, mainly because of his mother in front of him and Miki’s father because they have nothing to do with this. It was all managerial bullshit. But he is still a person and not a robot like Ryo or as good as Miko when it comes to showing a façade, so his mother notices immediately and frowns for just a second. Although it is enough for Akira to know she realized and that they are going to have a long talk after this meeting is over._

_“That’s right candidate, you’ll have to wait one more week,” Miki’s father steps in, trying to act as a mediator after surely feeling the tension between the family members. “But after that week you are working under your names already, rest will long be forgotten for a while, so take advantage of this week and sleep a lot, eat healthily and do everything you have been postponing due to the selection.” He marks that last part and specifically looks at Ryo, making his gaze obvious for everyone in the room._

_‘The fuck?’ Akira can’t stop himself from wondering and he looks at the blond again. But if he was expecting to get something from him, a slight twitch or involuntary gesture that would make Akira see what Noel meant, then of course he was wrong. ‘He really is a fucking robot, isn’t he?’ his mind comments with disdain._

_The blond turns to see him, probably feeling Akira’s gaze studying him and opens his mouth. He is moving it and says something but Akira can’t hear him. “Speak louder if you have something to say” he growls, perceiving the blond is probably insulting him for whatever his reason might be._

_“Akira, you big fuckmunch”_

_And he is so taken aback, because that doesn’t suit Ryo’s superior lexic. That’s something that suits someone else. Someone more basic. Someone like-_

“Miko you are being loud, he is supposed to be still resting” Miki’s soothing and calming voice lightly tells the other girl off, not mad at all at Miko.

“I know, but he is still a fuckmunch, how was he even captured in the first place? Why did he take all those guys on his own if he knew help was arriving?” the girl with a long braid asks so fast is a wonder Miki was able to catch everything she said.

“We don’t know if he knew help was coming, we only know what is in front of us now. And what’s in front is Akira hurt and recovering, he’s alive and getting better, that’s all we need”

“I know, I just can’t stop myself from wondering”

“You are definitely not the only one”

Akira starts coughing after trying to make a comment like ‘can you please shut up, I’m just waking up’ –even if the girls’ voices sound muffled–, and so he draws the girls’ attention to himself. He hadn’t even opened his eyes yet, and so once he does he feels his eyes are being repeatedly stabbed with several toothpicks at the same time. The covers were opened completely, leaving the sun no option other than to illuminate the whole pristine white room.

Akira feels the shuffling around him, but he doesn’t see it because his eyes are yelling. He would love to tell them to close the curtains, but he can’t because he is too occupied coughing. He feels a cold glass against his lips and hears Miki talk. “Drink, come on, I got you” she says while another set of hands, Miko’s he presumes, are helping him get his head in a straighter position so that he doesn’t choke with the water. Once his throat stops feeling like it is on fire and some pillows are accommodated behind him, Akira tries to open his watering eyes again.

The tears must be helping because he can open them this time, even when the light is still the same. However, he cannot focus as fast and his lids feel so heavy they might as well be glued. “Can you-oh fuck,” and he clears his throat to continue “can you shut those?”

“Oh God, sorry, we didn’t think you could wake up today so we never considered the light,” Miki explains while she closes the curtains as fast as she can in the huge room.

Akira has been here before, many times already. Just like Miko, who is here by his side. Just like everyone who works at Devilman. This is the hospital inside one of the HQ after all, practically home to them –moreover considering how many missions land them there for days, weeks or even months if they weren’t so lucky or if they had been sloppy while working. Akira doesn’t feel a stranger anymore and he tries not to think what that says about his lifestyle, the smell of disinfectant is almost calming by now because it means he is alive and getting better.

Yes, he likes the smell of disinfectant, he is weird like that. Kuroda never misses a chance to tell him that.

“So, how are you Mr. Hills have eyes?” The taller girl wonders with amusement hiding her worry. Akira laughs but it’s only a huff and his throat still complains about it. “Don’t make me laugh, you bitch,” he answers. Miki watches the exchange with a calm happiness. She sees Akira trying to get more comfortable and she helps him. Miko does too while minding his wounds.

“So that’s the new trend in Devilman? Cannibal jokes about me?”

“Well, yes, but to your defense I started it,” and Akira is not calm about that. “And I’m in charge of the thread so I block anyone who decides to post something a little off.”

“I feel better now” he comments with pure sarcasm in his tone which is also low and grave, graver than usual. “How long was I out?”

He could honestly try to guess considering the numbness in his muscles, or the blandness in them. He could also guess considering how his voice sounds or how out of shape he already feels. Akira has been through this enough he is able to pick up his body’s reactions as a way to tell how much time he had been unconscious. Also because Devilman made sure to train them to know that much, after all the selection had had a part of it strictly dedicated to teach them to calculate how long they had been out.

And at the question he can’t stop himself from remembering himself being eighteen years old all over again and awakening for the first time after having been drugged by someone in the Devilman selection team. His eyes had been blurry and body stupid while his mouth couldn’t stop salivating to the point it had created a pond on the floor. Miko had called him the most accurate rendition to Leo DiCaprio during that particular scene in the Wolf of Wall Street and he had wanted to disagree but all that had come from his mouth had been blabbering “Shhhhub shshshub-b-b thhgg fffkuuughh” .

Which Miko has been able to successfully translate to “shut the fuck up” in the second try, but she had made him repeat himself again and again just to see him struggle. He hadn’t been able to catch up until the fifth time but he blames the drugs because he was slower than usual. And _of course_ , Ryo had been there to witness him blabber, have no motor control and looking like a newborn trying to make sense of the world around him.

And sure even Akira in his pitiful state, eyesight not completely right and sounds all too loud, was still able to see Ryo smile at the sight in front of him. He had wanted to say “the fuck you looking at” but, again, “thhhg fk-fkkkgh i-i-ilknggggt” came out of his mouth.

“Nothing, just something quite sad and pathetic” and then he had walked away gracefully, as if he hadn’t been drugged to an unconscious pulp as well and the previous smile completely lost from his face.

Now that Akira thinks about it, he never knew why Ryo had been there if he was able to walk away that effortlessly. He was now able to think that he had surely been up for quite a long time and yet he was there next to Miko. But Miko is his best friend, his sister that wants to bang his other sister even when she still doesn’t admit she does. She is practically family, since it’s only a matter of time according to Akira.

However Ryo had been there that time. Why, though?

“Hey, Wes Craven’s wet dream, don’t force yourself to think too much” And Miko brings him back to reality with a comment.

“Akira, are you okay?”

“Really, Miki? Really?” and Akira has to agree with his friend on everything except that lovesick look she gives Miki in spite of her dumb question. But he also understands Miki because he has a knack for making questions just as dumb and out of place.

“Oh, God! I’m sorry, ok? I’m not an agent like the two of you, I don’t know whatever it is that hurts your ego so much when someone asks whether you are okay or not,” she huffs while blushing deeply and looking at the ground. “It’s a question completely valid, excuse you two.”

“Sure it is” Akira knows Miko wants to ask, he knows she doesn’t want to let go of the topic just yet while she dismisses Miki’s comment, but he also knows that she knows that there are mics everywhere. Devilman was never shy with wiring any of the places in the HQ and they always make sure to make them know they are being watched and heard, probably even followed.

“You’ve been out for two days, more or less. You already had surgery and you are recovering normally.” Miko says straight to the point, answering his previous question. “Also, everyone in the HQ saw the video of you ripping the other guy’s throat and let me tell you I kind of got a hard on.”

“Oh, my God, you are officially more disgusting than me.” Akira exclaims while making a face but also laughing at the same time. “Wait, what? How?”

“There were cameras, can you believe it? An illegal gang with cameras, that’s rich, isn’t it?”

“And convenient” He offhandedly comments, yet it is full of meaning. Miko catches him and clears her throat, also full of meaning.

“Your parents found out,” Miki interrupts their staring contest with some urgency in her voice, for some reason. Akira groans, if there was one thing he was hoping wouldn’t happen this time was his parents finding out, after all they were on holidays for their anniversary as it was insisted by Akira’s dad that they needed time for themselves. Akira agreed immediately because –even if his dad wouldn’t make a comments like that, he has more taste and tact– Akira doesn’t want to risk his parents complaining about the quality of their sex life, not to him at least, that’s just plain gross.

“They are in Maldives, so I guess they won’t come right away. Maybe I can see them once I’m out of the hospital.”

“Yeah, well about that, my parents spoke to them and they were making all the arrangements to get here as soon as possible.” Miki says while sounding sorry because she knew Akira wasn’t even planning on letting his parents know.

“Akira, they are your parents, or course they would drop everything to get here.” It’s an obvious statement and Miko uses that tone she has when she feels she is wasting time explaining something that shouldn’t be explained. Akira looks at her trying to convey the message of _“bitch I know, doesn’t change the fact I didn’t want them to worry about me while not enjoying their anniversary.”_ And thanks to all those years and years of friendship Miko does get the message immediately, crossing her legs and huffing in response.

“You are so dumb,” she states simply but Akira knows all the meaning behind that. She is trying to get him to understand he shouldn’t feel like a burden, it was something that could happen to anyone and something his own parents had experienced first hand. But Akira also knows what is like to be worried about a family member, he has been a kid while his parents still worked in Devilman and as much as he admired them –admires, still present– he was always frightened of them getting severely injured –is always frightened, his mum still works there.

So, if he can obviate some things from his job and not get his parents as scared as he used to be when he was little, then so be it, he is definitely going to try. Even when, of course, that means not telling them he is in the hospital, or that he is having a hard time with some stuff at work or that his flat is sometimes kind of way too big for his sole soul.

Kind of like a martyr complex, he enjoys suffering –according to Miko and Miki, they both gang up on him on this particular side of his personality.

“Some people came to see if you were already up, from work I guess since I don’t know any of them,” Miki changes the subject while smiling in spite of Akira and Miko’s frowns. “I only recognised one person, though.”

At that Akira pays more attention because Miki only knows his close friends and family.

“Who?”

“Ah, we-well I don’t know i-if you’ll like to know.” She stutters nervously which is weird since Miki is extremely confident, moreover when she is talking with Akira who is like her brother. They know each other a lot, they are family, raised together, getting old together. So it’s strange she thinks hiding something from him is even a good idea. He always finds out eventually.

Like that one time she thought she was being slick by watching porn on his computer, thinking that deleting the browser history was enough. Well it wasn’t and that was how Akira found out about some places in his sister-but-not-really-his-sister he hadn’t known about. Like the fact that she, apparently, finds bondage extremely appealing. That and also slut-shaming which definitely left an impression on him at first. Then, after giving it some thought –while thinking about his own kinks and how he really didn’t want Miki to address any of them– he came to the conclusion it could be worse. So he silently supported her in the best yet clumsiest way he could, which was buying her an entire leather set to enjoy with whoever she wanted.

He might have come across as a hardcore dom to the girl at the sex shop who just couldn’t stop looking at him and Miko with some sort of amazement and fear. Because of course he had dragged Miko to help him buy those things for her future wife –yes, Miko and Miki were getting married according to Akira–, after all he had to ask Miko what she was comfortable with so he could gift that to Miki. Needless to say, when she had found out about that particular personality trait from Miki, Miko had been a tomato for a week and a half.

It had been fun until Akira found her blushing all of a sudden while at work and disappearing to go running to the toilet. He was kind of worried once the others at Devilman started to ask her if she had a fever or something, not because he wasn’t enjoying Miko’s pain, because he didn’t want them to know his sister’s kinks. Not very professional.

“Miki, tell me, it’s not like you to try to hide anything from me.” And he knows she got the idea when she blushed from head to toe, ears and neck included. Of course she knew Akira knew, his gift hadn’t been exactly subtle because subtlety is something he wished he had but doesn’t.

“It was Ryo.”

And that was unexpected. His eyebrows naturally arch in surprise and he tilts his head as if trying to hear it better. “Come again?”

“Ryo, he came.”

“I would say he looked worried, but yeah, you never know with his face.” Miko adds.

Akira smiles in satisfaction, he better be worried, he thinks too. He better be rolling with guilt because what happened to Akira had been his fault and- Wait, hold on, in which way had it been his fault? And Akira wonders, then, gears turning and doing some leg work, why had he been there in the first place? It’s not as if they are friends, at best they were acquaintances. People who see each other because of their jobs and families, how do you name that? They’ve also grown up next to each other, Akira has seen the other boy being all cute and stuff until he became a bit of a dick.

Okay, maybe he had never been cute to begin with since the poor boy had some issues since they were children. But Akira could overlook stuff when they were little. Hell, some people would even consider them friends, but their teenage years had changed everything for both of them, Akira developed a complex and all of a sudden noticed Ryo was a dick, and Ryo himself was suddenly gone and would arrive only for holidays to seem even more detached from Akira and everyone around him –sitting alone on a sofa while holding a book with his long and elegant fingers, looking like a statue far away from all of them. Which, yeah, he was a dick –still is– but Akira could have been a little more understanding, but he wasn’t. And, again, Akira had had –still has– his own stuff to deal with so, yeah, that as well.

So they had drifted apart only to find themselves linked again by family and duty. However, those things never mean worry, maybe for Akira but definitely not for robot, statue looking Ryo.

“That’s definitely a look.” He says shortly.

“He said he needed to talk to you and that he would return and he did return. Maybe he’ll come again today?” Miki informed.

Oh, he can’t wait, he really can’t wait to see his smug face and grin while he proceeds to bask in the light of Akira owing him something. That’s the only reason he would go the hospital for and it was just so him to be that arrogant. He would probably tell Akira he’ll have to be his slave for the next weeks until he repays his debt, which in all honesty doesn’t sound bad to Akira, he better repay him soon instead of owing him something for a long time.

“Don’t know if I’ll get to see him, I might be having my nap when he comes.”

“Akira, don’t be like that.” Miki reprimands him.

“Okay, if he comes I’ll try to be awake. I won’t promise anything.”

And so he spends one more hour with them, it was relaxing really. Miko informs him she is keeping his cat alive and well fed and that she is taking her pay from his fridge. Akira knows he’ll have to refill it once he is back. Miki, God bless her, says that she is keeping it full so that once Akira returns he doesn’t have to go around doing any extra shopping.

The rest of the day was uneventful to its finest and Ryo doesn’t go to the hospital that day. Or the next. Or the next.

But he eventually arrives and he knows because the nurses talk extremely loud.

 

___________________________ 

 

And of course he would arrive with heaps of people looking at him, trailing behind him, as a kind of court to a king. Akira is having his third cup of jelly after having begged the nicest of the nurses for more –when he shouldn’t have more but he is a big boy who eats a lot and the food there really doesn’t do it for him.

On the one hand, Akira is thankful he didn’t get to see the blond on the previous days. On the other hand he isn’t because he couldn't get the thought out of his head. Yeah, that thought that says he owes Ryo something and he already hated himself a lot for many things. Things he had done when he was younger and had no filter, things he did when he was a teen and had no control, things he continues to do as an adult, an age in which he should have already mastered both filter and control –yet he didn’t. So he just continues hating himself for small things or bigger ones and just when he thought he was done adding big things to the list, he continues adding heavy stuff.

And of course his head has to remind him every three hours or less that he owes Ryo. Like an alarm you snooze but never stops. And he was actually getting to the point he was remembering the… thing –yes, he is censoring it– more often now than before.

So he got to the conclusion he seems to really hate himself more and more since the only thing he has been doing for the past week is reminding himself he actually, _actually,_ owes something to the self-centered, selfish, cut-throat blond that is right now politely smiling directly in front of him. A blond who just happens to be managing a bouquet of flowers on one hand while balancing a cake on the other, black, thin and italics writing saying _'Sorry, but I had to'_.

The whole court that had been going with him is gone and Akira is brought back to reality. He looks at Ryo pretending indifference but deep down he is bothered, embarrassed, wanting to hide under the pristine white covers. But he doesn’t, he meets the blond’s stare head on and doesn’t talk, waiting for the other to do the work.

“Akira, is good to see you are fine.”

“As fine as I’ll ever be.” He answers sardonically. 

“Of course.” And he sounds so measured while still looking like a Michelin man who is trying to carry too many things at once, Akira is positively envious. Because for a man Ryo’s size he can actually be elegant and powerful at the same time, in contrary to Akira who in his opinion can only be strong. Again, Ryo isn’t exactly small in height, but it happens that Akira had the biggest grow spurt ever and suddenly everyone was small for him, even Ryo who used to be taller than him. 

Also, he had become broader, only making the contrast of their figures be more noticeable. Now Ryo was shorter and smaller, whereas Akira was taller and broader. That was definitely one of the few only things he was happy about and even proud of. However Ryo was superior in everything else.

The blond moved through the room with practiced grace and left everything he was carrying on one of the tables in which Akira could eat if he felt like not eating on the bed –which never happened. Akira could see the bouquet was luxurious yet sober, done elegantly to portray opulence and not a trace of bad taste. Roses both rich maroon and striking white were perfectly arranged with some other smaller and golden flowers peeking here and there, not even a spine was present.

Akira huffed, this dude really was a drama queen, wasn’t he? He thought, and he was right.

“I hope I am not interrupting your nap.” Ryo comments as if knowing the conversation he had had with Miki and Miko. He moves to the chair next to Akira’s bed and comfortably sits there but doesn’t remove his coat.

“Yes, but the painkillers haven’t kicked in yet, we probably have like five minutes or less, though.” Akira answers while hoping that small amount of time can discourage the blond from remaining there for a long period of time.

“That is enough time.”

 _Fuck_ , he thinks.

“Why the cake?” Akira questions him, interrupting the blond who was about to say something. Ryo doesn’t look appalled, just surprised in Akira actually engaging in the conversation.

“Well, that is clearly to apologise as you may have figured out by the message.” And with that Akira goes back to the cake which he had read but not paid enough attention, after all he won’t be able to eat it with the whole hospital diet. However he is curious by the white with black flowers –and delicious looking, even to Akira spite– cake currently resting on the table.

“About?” Akira is strangely calm about it while Ryo is as always nothing but correct and delicate in his approach. Although for some reason Akira felt he was being quite defensive and overly cautious, as if walking on thin ice or egg shells when Akira and him had already yelled to each other and called horrible names. But Ryo is careful today. _What in the fuck?_ Akira wonders.

“The mission and not telling you something regarding it”

Akira is at a loss now.

“The Coímbra affair?” and he tilts his head in confusion, what was Ryo talking about? Akira actually owed him his life.

“Exactly, there was a change a couple of days after you had left for the mission, something I could have told you about but didn’t because I was ordered not to.” The way the blond starts already makes Akira skin tingle with unsaid irritation, the other is trying really hard to set the scene just to probably justify himself for whatever it is he did.

Or didn’t do.

And at that thought Akira interrupts him again before he can finish.

“What didn’t you tell me? Go to the point." Ryo looks at him straight in the eyes, like he has been doing since entering the room, but his hands start playing with one another and he gets even straighter –if that’s possible–, head higher. He is obviously intending to look confident, which he doesn’t need because he always looks confident, but for some reason he is consciously doing it.

Akira is even more interested now.

“Five days after you left, I was called to a meeting to discuss the Coímbra affair. Apparently, they wanted it to end sooner than it was supposed to, so they told me I was going to interfere and that a rescue mission would be the best possible intervention to hurry the issue.” Ryo explains slowly. “They told me you needed to be captured, that your cover needed to fail so that we could go there with a whole team to get you out before you were killed.”

Ryo doesn’t explain anything any further because he knows Akira might be slow for certain things but when it comes to this kind he catches on quickly. And Akira is thankful the other doesn’t continue explaining him anything as if he was some sort of child who couldn’t get the gist of something. He doesn’t even need to do a lot of thinking before his mind comes up with the solution.

_“He blew your cover.”_

But his first thought was a little wrong, because it hadn’t been Ryo only, the whole service had decided to blow his perfectly calculated cover even when that meant they could have miscalculated everything, which would immediately result in Akira tortured, emasculated and then killed like an afterthought since the most important parts were steps one and two.

 _“They purposefully blew your cover.”_ A small, very small, close to tiny part of his mind understands that these things can happen and that he has to adapt, he is no longer a whiny child like he used to be when he was younger and he actually takes pride in the fact he can now watch the whole Hachikō movie without wailing. However, one thing doesn’t eliminate the other one and if one quality of Akira remained up to date is his temper. More specifically, how short it is.

So, even when he gets they must have had their reasons and also that he never expects anything from the other side of Devilman, he really can’t get past Ryo’s all to pure professionalism that didn’t allow him to tell Akira about the whole plan. Akira would never go and tell anyone Ryo had warned him and he would keep on playing along, let himself be captured and all but with the small difference he would be expecting it so he would be ready.

“So they blew my cover and you didn’t warn me, that’s it?” Akira answers calmly, voice lower and raspier than usual. Even to himself he sounds quite defeated, but he hopes Ryo doesn’t notice.

But surely the other does, but thankfully doesn’t comment on it. Ryo just nods.

“And, they told you not to warn me, no matter the risk, right?”. Ryo nods again.

Akira is furious

“I know an apology is not going to change anything, but still I deeply apologise.” Akira would love to believe him, however he sounds too serene and composed, it sounds fake like everything in Ryo is. Akira looks at him and evaluates him from head to toe, trying to put to good use all the non-verbal training they had. And all he gets is nothing, the only clue he had got was the previous slip Ryo had had when he had intended to look more confident. After that he had been as blank as always, like a white sheet of paper without a single crease. He is pissed he can’t get anything from him.

“Those were my orders and I couldn’t break them.”

“Really? As if you couldn’t have warned me in any way?” Akira sounds bitter and quite cold with his anger.

“You know I couldn’t.”

“Because you are a coward.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Pussy.”

Ryo exhales and frowns and Akira is so happy, close to elated for that small reaction.

“Akira, I need you to understa-“ But Akira is more tired than anything else, so he interrupts him because the conversation was clearly going nowhere and adding nothing to their usual exchange.

Maybe it added more to Ryo’s character as a coward which Akira had never really considered him as, so mostly more than angry he is disappointed.

“If I could I would kick your face so many times, not even the professor would be able to recognise you.” Akira seethes, tone of voice threatening and final. He knew that even if he really looked menacing, the percentage of Ryo really being scared was close to zero. On a bad day the guy could totally take Akira down, it had happened many times already. He might not be as strong as Akira but he compensated for that with witty and dirty strategies.

Just as much had Akira been able to return the favour in kind from time to time. In the last two years he had been able to do so even more often than ever. So maybe it was that fact which fueled him to not accept the apology the other was offering. Perhaps it was the fact that he was loosing precious time at work doing what he loved the most –all bullshit he was finding out now aside. Or the fact that he had been laying in a hospital bed for one week already, muscles tired from not working out and his mind leaving him no option but to entertain him with dreams of old memories he thought he had let go of.

Or, who knows, it could also be the fact that he had been shot, stabbed and almost got emasculated by a drug selling, people trafficking gang.

Akira was definitely thinking it was a combination of all of the above.

And last but not least, the fact Akira doesn’t really want to considerate, the fact that he is really disappointed in Ryo. The other man had proved to be many, many things Akira despised, but never a weak-kneed. Not with everything that he had been through because he really had gone through some stuff Akira is thankful he didn’t have to live. Or survive to, that’s more accurate.

Ryo was elegance, yes, but he was also strength. He had to be strength. He never missed a step or lacked resolve and he had played against Devilman’s rules before. So what was the difference?

Akira is surprised he is actually acknowledging anything about Ryo but he grew up and in moments like this he can see it. Akira five years ago would have never seen any redeeming quality in Ryo, now he does and he is actually surprised and let down when the other doesn’t live to the standard.

“So, considering that, you can shove you apology right where the sun doesn’t shine.”

"Honestly, I am passed this, I came offering my most sincere apologies, in case you haven’t heard a thing I have just explained to you, I was just fo-llo-wing-or-ders," and the insufferable man has the actual nerve to separate that in syllables as if he was dealing with a boy from kindergartner. “I was ordered to do something and I did it, do you at least understand that I truly had no option than to reveal who you were to the people from the gang?”

A burdensome silence took over the room. The only thing that could be heard was Ryo’s heavy breathing, showing Akira how affected the other was. However, Akira wasn’t looking at him, he just didn’t feel like dealing with this person right now. Or dealing with anyone for that matter. He felt tired and worn out. Why were things always this way with Ryo? Why was this guy always getting out of situations completely untouched? Akira knows, oh he really knows, that if the roles had been inverted, everyone from the management side of Devilman would be crucifying him right now for having endangered their most precious agent.

Actually, it is worse, because the management side of Devilman would have never risked Ryo’s life in that way.

He feels as a toy, as if they could do whatever they wanted with him and yet they won’t even recognise his efforts. Although he is conscious he doesn’t survive out of people’s validations –even less people from the administration department who are way too comfortable sitting on their cushioned chairs–, he just feels as if he wouldn’t mind them saying, just for once, “congratulations on a good job, Akira”. It seems like the only thing he is good at in these people’s eyes is to be someone they tell off for ridiculous reasons, or someone to send to suicidal missions because they take advantage of the fact Akira loves his job that much.

The rational part of his brain knows he cannot blame Ryo, not completely. But his chest is too full of the word ‘replaceable’ making his stomach twist. Because, yes, that’s what he feels like right now, a failure. He feels he is not good enough to deserve a congratulation, he feels dispensable and as someone they can put in a shitty situation just because.

Because it had been _so_ unnecessary and he wants to yank every hair of his head out of frustration. They thought he wasn’t capable, they thought he was just not going to be able to complete it, they thought, they thought, they thought–

But they never took time to see what he was achieving.

And it’s in times like this he feels nothing is really worth his sorrow or anger.

And honestly, what had they really thought when interrupting a mission early? What the actual fuck?

“Can you leave? I’m tired and the tranquilizer is kicking in by now” he blatantly lies. His voice is monochord and doesn’t waver one bit. He wants the other to see he’s angry, he wants Ryo to feel guilty and to think Akira will never forget what he did –which will actually happen because Akira is able to hold a grudge for an inhuman amount of time. But he wants Ryo to really feel at fault, he doesn’t need him to understand what he feels in reality, as a matter of fact he wants Ryo to mistake this tone he is using for wrath and moodiness instead of his insecurities reigning inside his mind all over again.

“If you need that, then I will do it,” Ryo states and just like that and without turning back to look at Akira, he leaves, probably not even feeling remorseful.

Akira lies down and decides he needs to sleep for a whole year.

 

**___________________________**

 

 _“Akira, you shouldn’t be that way with Ryo”. Akira’s mother says while they move to the kitchen._

_Akira is seventeen and he didn’t want anything to do with this whole new too good for you Ryo that had arrived from the States. They had always have this kind of rivalry going on, but it wasn’t funny anymore when Ryo looked at him as if he wasn’t even worth his time. Akira had been excited because of his grow spurt, he wanted to show Ryo he had been training a lot and thanks to that he was surely taller than him now, he was literally taller than anyone he encountered._

_But after sharing dinner with him during the winter break, Akira was done. He had actually been waiting for Ryo to return from his scholarship abroad so that they could catch up and so that he could talk to Ryo about nothing and everything. Akira really thought they were friends, but apparently Ryo didn’t._

_“Mum, I can’t be different to him when he is that way.” He replies while they make coffee for everyone in the house._

_“He is growing up, he is mature and he needs time,” her tone is soft. “We all know what happened to him, and he had never been exactly open at all, yet you’ve always been more considerate, what changed?”_

_What changed, indeed, he wonders. They used to be friends when they were little and Ryo had his issues less solved than now, yet why was it that Akira couldn’t stand him now? It was not the first time Ryo had dismissed him this way, matter of fact he can remember many times when they were like ten or eleven and Ryo thought that shutting himself from the world was a good solution._

_Akira remembers staying for hours waiting on the other side of Ryo’s bedroom door until the other would come out. Akira was extremely gentle and caring with him, moreover after he found out what had happened to his family and everything Ryo had done to survive at such a short age._

_Akira admired him. Akira wanted Ryo to be okay now. Akira wanted Ryo to have the happiness he deserved._

_But that was before, so what had happened?_

_“I just can’t handle him, mum.”_

_“That doesn’t sound like the child that used to beg me to bring him here to play with Ryo because he didn’t want him to feel lonely.”_

_And that’s a jab, definitely._

_“I grew up too, y’know,” he answers while not looking at her in the eye, God knows what she’ll find out if he makes eye contact with her._

_“Of course you did.” She says while placing a hand on his cheek and making him look at her. I’m fucked, Akira thinks. She found out, might as well tell her._

_“I just-ugh, this is not easy. I just feel out of place with him.”_

_“Admitting  is never easy, love,” she reassures him. “Why?”_

_Akira takes a deep breath and laugh with no humour. His mother can read him so easily, all training forgotten._

_“He is too perfect.” He says honestly because he is safe, his mother would never judge him. And as he says that out loud he is admitting it to himself, Ryo is way too perfect, Akira doesn’t fit there, there’s no place for Akira where Ryo is._

_“Is he?” Kaori asks him but with no real questioning. Her eyes grew slightly wide for a second, as if surprised that was the issue. Or surprised as if she had never really expected Akira to say anything. However, she does sound curious as she smiles a little and tells Akira to go on._

_“Of course he is, there is no other word. He is a genius in everything he does, he is successful and so ahead of me. He actually looks like one of those statues that look beyond human,” he elaborates. “I can never catch up, can I?”_

_And that last part came out sounding defeated, extremely so. Even though he is wearing his fuzzy  and warm sweater, gift from Miki, he feels cold. He looks down and doesn’t dare to look at his mum, being scared she is disappointed after Akira had made a comparison he should have never even thought about. What if his mother doesn’t see him like before now that he explained how perfect Ryo is. He is scared his mother would see him differently, that she would treat him with disdain._

_That she would become the way Ryo became with him._

_But he is wrong, his mother just hugs him tightly and assures him. He is crying because that’s what he does best, eyebrows together and face unattractively upset._

_The coffee is ready and that’s the only reason they are interrupted. Kaori tells him to go and wash his face, that she can carry everything to the living-room where everyone was waiting. Akira does so and doesn’t leave the bathroom until he looks as put together as he can, eyes not red and tear tracks out of his face._

_When he goes to the living room he sits next to his dad, who as if knowing places an arm around his shoulders. Akira smiles and he feels someone looking at him. He looks in front of him and he catches Ryo going back to his book, the remnant of the movement barely there. But Akira caught it._

 

 

He wakes up slowly, not in the way you wake up when you have a nightmare. And that was probably because it hadn’t been a nightmare at all, it had been a memory, that was all. A sad one, but a memory nonetheless 

He turns around and knows he has been crying while dreaming. Akira wipes the tears quite aggressively and sees it’s dark outside, meaning it’s nighttime already. “Fucking great, I won’t be able to sleep now” he grumbles while sitting up. _“Might as well…”_ he thinks while using his phone, which had remained charged thanks to Miki, again God bless her, and uses their private connection to access the forums because that’s the most he can do to entertain himself. Even when it means looking at some memes currently shitting on his situation.

He won’t jack off here in the hospital, no.

 

______________________

 

 

“So, you unlocked another achievement. You killed one of the dudes with your teeth, how does it feel to be closer to Hannibal Lecter than to James Bond?” Kuroda mentions while eating a piece of the cake Satan had brought for Akira, who had decided not to eat it after balancing the possibilities of it being poisoned. Also he wasn’t allowed to.

At his poison comment, Miko had said his levels of stupidity had reached a whole new peak, actually being able to surprise her for once. Akira knew she was having the time of her life, eating that delicious looking cake –even though it was painful for him to admit that it _really_ did look tempting– while he couldn’t. Probably somewhere around town, Ryo is laughing at him too, just by picturing Akira’s despair because he’s not able to eat what he wants.

“Well, not for nothing I spend hours and hours just sharpening them,” Akira says as he sees how Miko is eating the ‘had to’ part of the cake and he emphasizes the comment with flashing an exaggerated grin to show off his teeth. He is immediately kicked back to his conversation with the blond when he focuses on the lettering in Miko’s plate and his mind particularly thinks about how measured Ryo’s answers had been, just polite enough for everyone to understand and accept his explanation, and heartfelt enough for everyone to forget what he had done. However, it wasn’t enough for Akira, it would never be enough. And it wasn’t just about Ryo, no, _never_ , Akira denied with fervor that things were ever _just_ about Ryo.

It was about everyone in the hierarchy chain inside Devilman, and in moments like this he thought Moyuru Koda had been the most intelligent person ever for having abandoned Devilman.

He still didn’t do it in the greatest way possible, but he did it anyway.

“Akira, I know what you are thinking and you are wrong” Miko said vaguely, her voice taking a serious note and becoming deeper than before. She was extremely good at reading people, sometimes way too good, and she had spent a huge amount of time next to Akira to the point she could _see_ his gears turning while picturing thoughts that, as she had said so many times already, were of no use.

Akira had only let her in because it was Miko they were talking about. Not only was she his best friend, she was also the person that never sugarcoated things and who pushed Akira when he needed to be pushed. She just knew, she had that gift with certain people –with only people she cared about. Maybe it was due to all the training that she was able to gain this ability to see through smoke and mirrors, maybe it was because she _herself_ had been there before –in a place full of insecurity thanks to being put in someone else’s shadow.

Maybe it was because she still felt insecure from time to time. But she had raised herself above all that and Akira wished he could do that. However, he was still constantly reminded he was in someone else’s shadow.

“I was just thinking Moyu-" but he is interrupted with a spoonful of cream going right inside his mouth, making him feel torn between enjoying the sugary flavour and wanting to puke because of the suddenness of it all. His friend looks at him with a stare full of meaning and he gets it. _‘Oh, fuck, the mics.’_ His mind slaps him in the face with no mercy at that statement. Definitely the days out of training were making him dumber than he already was, because he knew everything inside Devilman was wired to its foundations.

Miko changes to a loud tone and says she’ll bring him water and she does. She laughs her fakest laugh, the one that is able to get her a ticket to everywhere she wants, and comments on how Akira is becoming clumsier. Also, she blames the lack of training and having become a couch potato. Akira says nothing and just drinks gulp after gulp of water.

“I am being quite stupid, aren’t I?” He answers once he can feel his throat is back to normal. He recalls how he had shut himself from the world after Ryo’s visit because everything had felt so heavy all over again. Akira had experienced the same sensation he had while on the selection –which had been such a long time ago he is surprised he is still able to remember how tiny everyone in Devilman had made him feel during that period of time.

He remembers covering himself with the impeccably clean sheets and falling asleep after three hours of his mind repeating all the things he already knew about himself.

The only person allowed once he was over with his pity party, as mentioned before, had been Miko. Who actually never really gave him a chance to deny her entrance to his room, she just barged in. Nevertheless, Akira could have made the nurses kick her out –taking advantage of the fact some of them really disliked her for her disdain towards post-internment diets and recovery period.

But Akira had let her in, she provided a good distraction and if there is one thing Akira needs now is a distraction, something to keep him outside of his head.

In spite of his deepest needs, life wasn’t done with him yet, oh no. So it is just his luck, he figures, that as soon as Miko turns on the TV –after answering: “You have never been the brightest to begin with” to Akira’s comment– that he hears the distorted voice of the person he least wanted to know of while underneath he reads “Current Satan gives details about Devilman’s new victory”.

 _“Oh, fuck, even the media is sucking his dick.”_ And he can’t stop himself from grunting as his hands rub against his whole face, defeat and fatigue crystal clear in his expression. Miko, on the other hand, decides that it’s a great time for her to catch up on the news, so what does she do? She increases the volume, either not giving a single shit over Akira’s obvious lack of interest in whatever the bitch has to say, or because she enjoys seeing her friend suffer even more.

Akira thinks it’s a combination of both.

Whichever that is, it doesn’t change the fact that he is now witnessing Ryo Asuka being praised on national TV by everyone in a panel of journalists and specialists on at least one thing related to what Devilman does, which is security to an international scale. But without the secrecy they should have because everyone in Devilman seems to share one particular characteristic: They are all attention whores with big delusions of grandeur.

And Akira is one of the quietest ones when it comes to those. However what he has is something different –in addition to his anger management issues. He definitely suffers from a hero complex because he knows he just can’t stay away from a situation in which he feels someone needs him, even when backing off from that situation is the most convenient and analytical thing to do. He just doesn’t do it and that is the main reason he is always getting in trouble.

Also, that’s another reason behind the fact that he is never sent to those interviews, _never._ God knows what he’ll say will ultimately cause Devilman’s and world’s order downfall because the management doesn’t joke around when they say that “working with a public that loves you is easier”. They live for that motto, they _bleed_ for it, to the point everything Devilman does is reported once a mission was over and success was achieved. Everything they do is to gain further positive reactions, more support and favourable advertising that will enable the management to keep meddling in politics and affairs bigger that the service itself.

This is so to the point the people from the administration make them train to give interviews that’ll end up with Devilman getting an even better image. Of course no one knows their faces, names or even voices because they do need some sort of secrecy, if they didn’t even have that they wouldn’t be able to even step in a foreign country without criminals knowing. But they get interviewed so often they could be celebrities. Also, there is this air of mystery surrounding Devilman that makes everyone outside of it be intrigued and curious about it.

Akira personally thinks it’s a bunch of shit, the air of mystery he means.

“I’m still surprised they haven’t asked whether he is single or not.” Miko comments while she gets more comfortable on her chair and finishes her cake. Akira is surprised as well since they always end up talking about that when someone from Devilman is having an interview, is just ridiculous how they aren’t even trying to be subtle about it anymore. The worst part is that they don’t even know them, they could be a human size, moist scrungo for all they know, and yet they are all the time high-key throwing certain phrases at them that make Akira and everyone in the service fucking cringe from head to toe.

Except Ryo, he is the only one that seems to bask in receiving that sort of attention. Or he is just good enough at keeping them thinking he is not finding it just as equally disgusting as everyone else does.

Neither Akira nor Miko speak even though they surely have opinions about what is being talked about. Akira does remember the mics now, his throat still burns thanks to deep-throating a spoon. Unwantingly, of course. But that helps him remember he is not supposed to speak much inside the building because lying in bed for days just got him that comfortable with things he used to be close to paranoid about.

The interview is smooth and Ryo provides plenty of information, some of it kind of confidential sounding which made Akira think if the blond had been allowed to share that. Somewhere in his mind he had the wild –and honestly extremely unrealistic– fantasy that Ryo was over sharing right now, that he was spilling some unauthorized tea and that he would get kicked out of the service because of that. But of course, again, unrealistic.

“I heard the nurses talking, they say you’ll be able to leave in a couple of more days,” Miko comments while huffing once the dreaded question about Ryo’s dating life spilled right passed someone’s lips. All of the people on air are paying more attention than before and Akira just can’t handle it. How banal can you get? Apparently more than that because once Ryo says he is single –with a tone that is close to flirtatious, '‘t _he fuck?”_ Akira’s mind exclaims puzzled– but clarifies that he is interested in someone, they all coo and woo and aww and Akira and Miko simultaneously burp.

“Shit, once you think they can’t get worse,” the girl exclaims while holding her stomach. “Holy fuck, that’s a new low.”

“Indeed”

“As I was saying,” she picks up where they had left off and lowers the volume on the TV since the cackling there is just unbearable at this point. “You’ll be good to go in just days and it got me wondering-”

“Don’t think too hard, you’ll hurt yourself,” Akira interrupts with a smirk.

“Honey, I think you are projecting there,” Miko answers without batting and eye. “However, as I was saying, it got me thinking you are actually healing faster than before. Have you been crazy dieting again?”

Akira is puzzled and his head tilts again, as it naturally does when he is confused.

“Crazy dieting, what? No, not after that last time we know what happened.”

“The diarrhea affair, right?” He hates Miko.

“I hate you,” he lets her know. “My asshole bled, that wasn’t funny.” At that comment the girl cackles as she was already going for another piece of cake. The cake almost falls when she banged her hand on the table.

“Not for you, for me it was hilarious.” She wheezes. “I still remember you calling me to get you extra soft toilet paper, or the-the, oh, lord, I’m dying, the super soft baby stuff.” She laughs again extra loud 

“Miko, shut the fuck up.” He says with intent and with his face completely red because he doesn’t know what’s worse: talking about Moyuru Koda and being linked to him or have everyone in Devilman know he had such a strong case of diarrhea once he couldn't walk staight and had actually wiped his ass with baby wipes for a whole month until nothing burnt there.

“But the best, definitely,“ she starts as she sits down next to Akira again. “Was when-wh-when you called me to get you diap-“ but she never finishes because Akira is fast and he grabs the spoon and shoves it down her throat.

“Payback bitch!” He yells.

And while Miko tries not to die from that, one of the nurses comes to warn them again. It was the third time already.

 

_________________________

 

 

Akira is visited several times while he is at the hospital recovering, wounds being checked and cleaned on a daily. He is repeated the same phrase all the time, _“You were really lucky, young man.”_ Either all his nurses have Dory’s brain syndrome or he really was lucky.

Akira measures his wounds when everyone is out and he considers that yes, indeed, he had been lucky, although this is not his worst shape at all. He’d had it worse many times and in all of them he thought the same: _“I need to get back into shape, I need to go back to work, I’m loosing time.”_ After reflecting on that for a second or two, he understands why people call him a workaholic sometimes, but he isn’t really a workaholic, he is just extremely competitive.

To an unhealthy level, yes, but it’s different nonetheless.

He had never been the best at school because had never been that interested in it to begin with, he knew that little of what he could learn there was going to be useful later as an agent. He only started to worry about his grades when his parents had threatened him with not letting him apply for the selection.

There’s another reason that Akira recalls, but he doesn’t want to think about it much because it would give Ryo some sort of credit or even authority in his life. After all that’s what Akira is: a professional denier. He denies everything, even the blatant things that deep down he has already kind of accepted… He keeps on denying everything. Especially the things that touch very sensitive and sore spots like _everything_ related to Ryo.

But he still denies because he thinks that if he does it everyday, some day he will actually believe it without even trying, which according to Miko is fucking pitiful. Akira doesn’t disagree but doesn’t stop denying things either way, so they are both at peace with that aspect of his life.

But as he is remembering how many people have already visited him, he cannot stop himself from thinking the blond bitch didn’t deem him worthy enough of a second visit. Maybe he felt guilty? But he doubts it and laughs at the thought of Ryo mopping about whatever Akira had told him. It was impossible but dreaming is something he is still allowed, so imagine he does. He imagines Ryo apologizing to him, crying, oh yes crying would be good too. He also pictures him on his knees and right in front of him and for some reason he is naked as well.

Naked? Why naked, though?

He’ll have to talk to the psychologist about it. She had actually mentioned something about symbolism specially when talking about dreams, but he wasn’t sure if it applied to fully conscious fantasies.

However, before Akira can decide in which tone Ryo is going to apologize to him, he is cut by both his parents arriving and making a sandwich out of him before he can even greet them properly.

“Oh, my sweet Akira, you are still just as dumb and reckless,” his father sighs while hugging him even tighter, some place in his brain he doesn’t think that’s the way a father should greet his son who just had another –yes, another– very close to death experience. That same part of his brain reminds him who he is, what his parents were and were already used to and his own habits, so he understands. “That’s good, though, it means you are still alive and still our Akira.”

Oh fuck, he had always been a crybaby about stuff, another thing many couldn’t understand even after years in the service. He cries easily that’s why he keeps himself highly hydrated and away from drama movies while he is out with people from work who are yet to know about his easy tears.

But he never pretended with his parents and every time he had ended up in the hospital, they had always come to see him right away, never minding if he was in Japan on in any other remote part of the world where the agency was able to get a base functioning. So he always ends up crying while reminiscing of his days as a child, after all having both his parents hug him tightly while pretending he is the grilled cheese, bacon and egg of their bagel gets him just as much as when he was little.

Maybe it is because even after so many times in the hospital, he still feels as if having cheated death for the nth time was still relieving, he knows he has a lot to live yet and that is one of the things motivating him to stay alive during missions. His parents are another one, fulfilling the objective of seeing them again is just as satisfactory as it is moving.

He guesses his parents think the same, they had already told him they could never get used to seeing him in a hospital bed, but they had also admitted that denying him of what he wanted to do was hypocritical since they had been there as well.

So, while his mum strokes his hair and his dad speaks to him a if he was still eight years old and crying on his bed because his runny nose wouldn’t let him breathe normally so he couldn’t sleep, Akira cries and cries.

He doesn’t feel pathetic about it, though.

Which is good.

 

_________________________

 

 

After awful three weeks of not being able to do shit, just sleeping, zero privacy, nurses having a front row seat to his sculptured ass, not jacking off, not seeing his cat, zero workout, geriatric food and watching “Say yes to the dress”, Akira is finally – _finally_ – sent back home so that he can continue recovering at his place. He is happy because he actually misses his flat and his things, even if he actually spends more time at the HQ than at his house. But he tries to convince himself that he really misses his home

His old yet still beautiful and gracious cat welcomes him, already purring and being happier than any other person that has seen him in the past few days. Maybe the only ones that can beat his cat are his parents but they don’t count, they are his parents.

“Pocket, you are so beautiful, yes you are,” he coos at the cat, which just continues to purr even louder once attention is given. Akira lifts his cat, takes off his trainers and changes to his slippers while the cat nibbles on his chin and positively head bumps against him as a sign of affection. “Did you miss me that much?” And as if knowing, Pocket lets out a meow that’s close to painful.

“Oh, God you did, didn’t you?” And if anyone from his work –who of course didn’t know him outside of it– or anyone he had to beat up or steal from or get to jail or even kill got to see this side of him, they would all scratch their heads without a clue at the sight that would welcome them: Akira head bumping his cat just as enthusiastically to show just how much he missed his girl.

After all, he did build himself an image at work, an image easily sustained with his already imposing figure, which he is thankful for. He just needed to keep his resting bitch face on and smile only with his closest friends –Miko, who also had a reputation™ just like Akira– and that was all. If you added that to the fact he was one of the best agents then you had a combo everyone was scared to approach but admired from afar.

Because even if he is still self conscious and insecure about aspects in his life –everything in which Ryo appears as a comparison– he know, yes he does, how people, both men and women, look at him. He actually takes advantage of that and has what people would call a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with many of them. Without the friends par because they just call each other when he felt like boning someone.

Something he may do today.

But Pockets purrs even louder, probably guessing his intentions of forgetting her. And Akira is a weak man, so he says maybe tomorrow. Today he’ll watch porn before going to sleep, most definitely.

Once he is settled again, the afternoon falls on him and Pocket is still chasing him around the house, scared he’ll disappear. He feeds her and while thinking what to cook he finds Miki’s post-its literally everywhere saying what she did while in his house. Apparently, she had a field day with his laundry and clothes in general. She also cooked meals for him and cleaned the place with Miko’s help. Isn’t that such a sweet, diabetes inducing domestic bliss?

He gags while still finding it fondly. He just thinks they’d better not have been gross in front of Pocket’s dinner, that’s all.

However, once Pocket is fast asleep on the sofa, Akira silently leaves her to get to his room and prepare everything for a well needed and long overdue session. But as soon as his computer starts, he gets s notification straight from the HQ and he opens it as fast as possible because he knows it’s his citation.

All agents, once a mission is finished, get a citation to head to the HQ as soon as they are discharged from the hospital. And that’s if they even land in the hospital wing, if not they have to head there immediately as soon as you left the plane or ship that brought you back to your country. Akira isn’t exactly excited, but at the same time he really wants to return to his job.

He opens the citation and sees he has until Friday to rest, then on Friday he has to go. That gives him three days, which he considers actually quite thoughtful from Devilman. Then again, they did fuck him up and the only part that’s looking forward to go to his job –in addition to the fact he can go back to training and stuff– is feeling that way because he can’t wait for an apology, an official one, from someone in the Management. Oh he can feel himself getting hard at the thought of someone there apologising to him, profusely apologising.

 

_________________________ 

 

 

When he goes back to the HQ, he feels safe and energetic. It’s a weird combination since most people would feel safe and calm, but he is not like that. The HQ is both fresh and familiar to him, it makes him want to change into his workout clothes and go punch a few people on the ring. Perhaps make some money out of that since gambling is technically a sport in the service. Maybe even go do the paperwork he so much hates.

When he thinks that last part is when he realizes he has missed his job so, _so much._ It had been nearly painful for him because he had felt so useless while binge-watching “Magic Mike” and crying over the fact he will never have Channing Tatum’s body.

Or the fact that he will never have Channing Tatum as his boyfriend.

But it had been a particularly sensitive time for him.

And at the same time, while he cried over “Bunny Drop” –trying to ignore that bullshit manga ending, so just the anime for him–, he ate a whole two kilos of ice cream on his own that he later regretted because that cannot be good for his extremely restricted diet, which he follows diligently but begrudgingly. He needs some discipline back in his life and the image of the HQ provides that. He breathes in while still being at the entrance, still not having gone through the identification monitors. He feels alive again, he feels alright.

But once he gets inside and sees that the person who he is having the meeting with is Michael, his skin crawls. He never got over that creepy dude and for him to be the first person he has to interact with once he is cited it’s just nightmare material.

Because even after waking up thrilled at, again, the thought of someone finally regretting everything they did to Akira on behalf of Devilman, his expectations are just getting lower and lower just as his dread is becoming more and more present. Michael was not someone who would regret anything, he wasn’t someone that would even try to amend mistakes, Michael was someone who would die defending his side of the story and Akira knew that even if he had the upper hand, in this kind of situation in which you had to debate, Michael would own him. Several times.

He takes three deep breathes –yes, he counts them– and he gets into the lift and presses the button to the, as everyone in Devilman calls the place, third basement.

 

___________________________

 

 

If anyone were to ask Akira a word to describe Michael, that word would be grisly –word he actually learnt while looking a word up to describe the man in front of him the first time he had interacted with said man because he couldn’t just put his finger on the _right_ adjective to describe the creepy dude that, even while wearing a mask, seemed as if he was staring at you. That was until he saw the word ‘grisly’ and from then on he just used it for Michael.

Michael is a person, as far as Akira knows, even though he could be a robot because he surely behaves as one. Akira thinks he is a ‘he’ because of his voice but it could be distorted, just like they do for all the agents during interviews. And he is ranked higher than Akira since he is one of those dicks –according to Akira’s words– in the administration part of the service.

And that’s all he knows about Michael. That’s what everyone knows about Michael. Probably the higher ups know more but if you talk to the agents and below that’s all they know.

That and the fact that he or she or whatever it is: Michael is grisly. They all know and agree on that. People actually feel as if the temperature in a room lowered when Michael walks in. They all used to stutter a lot until Michael made sure to let them all know stuttering really gets on his nerves, from then on everyone in the service had to swallow the fear and learn how to talk to him without stuttering, because only God knows what Michael will do to you if you piss him off.

That’s why Akira tries to see him literally never if possible. But they work in the same place, Michael is technically his boss –he is his superior after all– and of course Akira has to see him more often than he would find it preferable, which would be never, but yeah, doesn’t happen.

“Amon, good to see you in shape and standing, although I will ask you to sit now”. Michael says once Akira is authorised to walk inside his office.

Now, here is the main reason why Michael is grisly. His aura and overall mannerism? Yes, for sure. His tone and constant innuendos –which Akira sometimes think may count as harassment? Yes, for sure as well. But his office and the way he presents himself to the world, oh that’s the icing definitely.

Michael’s office is called the third basement for a reason. It’s below the ground floor, no one or two, three levels below. And that is a lot considering Devilman’s building has high as fuck walls and ceilings. His office is huge, spacious and dark, Akira actually heard a rumour going on about the guy possibly being allergic to light? But that’s just what it is, a rumour, nothing confirmed. And if it is true then Akira would actually apologise out loud to Michael for thinking his aversion to sunlight or light in general was creepy, but until then he will stand in his ground of thinking the guy could be a vampire.

Then, of course, the fact that no one knows a lot about him not even physically speaking because Michael doesn’t show his face, or body, or anything that would cause people to actually gather information about him. As explained before, Akira guesses he is a dude for his voice, but then that’s about it because the masks he wears on daily basis don0t let anyone get a look. Even the sneakiest of agents can’t see anything, also they are too afraid to actually try.

The clothes are another thing, oversized, robes kind of clothes to hide any sort of tell-tale figure that could be considered male or female. Michael is never seen in other thing that isn’t droopy and long pieces of elegant and rich maroon pieces of clothes. They hang and just make him look even more imposing and Akira has one particular suspicion which is Michael is not as tall as he looks. After all, he has heard something sounding close to a heel once or twice.

But that’s all they can assume about Michael.

Also, Michael is extremely powerful in Devilman, so that just adds to the general panic he already causes.

“Thank you, sir.” Akira answers while thanking his family for his excellent, A++ eyesight, otherwise he would have already bumped into som- “Oh, good lord!”

He thankfully doesn’t say ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’ once his elbow finds the armchair –quite suddenly and aggressively– but he carefully uses his hands to avoid it. Akira sighs in relief because that’s another thing everyone knew about Michael, he hated when people swore and didn’t respect the rules imposed by hierarchy. So if you ever wanted to piss the guy off, then definitely calling him something as dumb as ‘little bitch’ would do, since you are attacking his hierarchy with both the words ‘little’ and ‘bitch’, while also addressing the fact he hates swear words in general.

So, a twelve year old could easily piss Michael off and Akira doesn’t know if he should classify that kind of behaviour as short temper. Then again, a twelve year old could piss Akira off as well and he stops with the comparison there because he wants to have absolutely nothing in common with the other dude.

He is crunching a bit so that he can use his hands to get to the desk where Michael was probably sitting. It’s a long way to the desk from the small, living looking area all the higher ups have. But Akira is careful enough to get to the chair while at the same time rubbing his elbow. Small tears had formed in the corner of his eyes, but he’ll never admit to it. Suddenly, he is actually thankful about Michael’s aversion to light as a whole.

As silently as he can, he sits on the comfortable and probably ornate chair. He doesn’t know because he can’t see it, but he feels the texture and the different ornaments and shapes the chair has with his palms. Also, he knows what silk feels like and that’s what he’s sitting on is definitely cushion sheathed with silk. _“That’s it, he is a vampire.”_ Akira thinks uncomfortably and already pictures the headlines claiming this body had been found without a drop of blood.

“Amon,” and oh God the way he says his code name just makes Akira’s skin crawl. “About the Coímbra affair, first of all I want to formally apologise on behalf of not only me, but everyone inside Devilman. It was indeed quite… unfortunate and sloppy, we didn’t manage it as well as we should have.”

Again, Akira is thankful they can’t see him roll his eyes so hard he for a moment thought they would get stuck there. He doesn’t voice his sarcasm, though, he already knows better.

“No problem, sir, we as agents know things like this can happen in the field”.

Michael laughs and it’s deep, deeper than Akira’s already deep voice. It sounded like a laugh you’ll hear in the afterlife or coming from the grim reaper that just arrived to get your soul. “I’m glad to hear there are no resentments between us, then.”

 _“Are you sure about that”_ he thinks but it sounds like John Cena. Akira curses himself because he has to stop watching the shitty videos Miko sends him or stop reading the threads they have in the forums –those that the higher ups are never meant to see because they are using high technology to make fucking memes about themselves and others at the service. However, he is going to visit them again to see how the cannibal memes are going, Miko did send some good ones while he was still in the hospital wing, so he is interested.

“Although there is a subject, in addition to your reincorporation, that we need to discuss.” Michael tells him. “We have noticed a decrease in the efficiency that characterises Devilman and it is an issue we plan to face at once.”

“Permission to ask a question, sir.”

“Granted.”

“I don’t want to sound as if I’m doubting you, sir, but I want to know if there is data saying that there’s been a decrease in efficiency that needs to be addressed.” Oh Akira is so proud, that came out nice. Although it does sound as if he doubts Michael, something he doesn’t want the other to notice –even though he probably did by now.

“I am glad we have such an inquisitive agent with us,” Michael answers with ease and detached politeness. “And I am also glad to hear your lexicon has become quite rich as well.”

 _“Piece of shit.”_ But even if he hates the other man for constantly underestimating him, Akira has to admit he got better at this whole talking thing, especially when talking to superiors in that stupid sub-language they have just because they love to feel above everyone else. So, begrudgingly, he agrees.

“That’s flattering, sir."

“And regarding your question, yes, we’ve been quantifying and comparing the levels of efficiency based on accomplished missions and the circumstances in which those missions were accomplished. We’ve measured difficulty, the agent’s rank, collateral damage, speed–“. And oh lord, why did he have to sound like Ryo doing big fucking questions when he doesn’t want to hear those big answers that are just useful to stroke their own dicks while they throw terminology Akira is just fine without having to considerate when it comes to fulfilling an objective. “…Was that enough to clarify, Amon?”

 “Yes, sir. Enlightening.” He didn’t even bother with hearing Michael’s argument and he hates himself a little bit for using a word used by Ryo himself, but he had to.

 “I am correct to assume Satan already informed you of the whole situation, which I have apologised for, right?”

 “He did, sir.”

 “Great, that saves me the prologue and we can skip to the most important part.” Akira can hear papers being shuffled and the sounds comes from ahead, so he guesses the other person in the room is looking for some papers. A little amazed, he wonders how Michael can do that. _“Ah, true, he is a vampire”_ and he doesn’t know if this fact just makes him feel a little envious because honestly, how can a person locate things in the dark? He has yet to achieve that level of superior skills. Or maybe it makes him feel ridiculously scared because he thinks vampires can see in the dark, at least according to Twilight and the fact that the creepy, shinning guy could see the girl sleep at night.

 “In front of you there is a folder with information, please read it as soon as you leave.” _“Duh, like I’m going to be able to read it in this torture chamber.”_ Akira thinks while reaching for the papers supposedly placed in front of him. He s happy to say he found them easily, after all they were indeed in front of him. For a second he thought Michael would be a bit of a douche and place them to his left or right so that he has to feel the desk looking for them –at least that’s what Akira would do to have a small laugh.

 “But until you read them, I will inform you why they are vital. Here in Devilman we are proud to be responsible for the security all around the globe, and you as an agent surely are as well. We are altruistic and our main goal is to serve humankind as mu–“. _“Ugh. Fuck, this dude really gets off to the sound of his own voice, doesn’t he?”_ Akira thinks while rolling his eyes, again. He crosses his legs and rests his back because he knows that even though Michael said they were going to skip the prologue, this shit he is spitting is going to be long and hard to handle. So he gets comfortable while hoping he doesn’t ask any questions about what he is currently talking about. Also while hoping his brain will reconnect once whatever he is saying starts being important.

 He’s going through the third Cher song in his mind when his brain effectively reconnects at the word “failure”. More exactly, at the phrase “your utter failure”. He does a double take if that’s even possible in the dark, because he is just looking at literally nothingness, maybe if gets creative he can say he sees the outline of Michael’s figure, but that would be some bullshit he will save for their next Rorschach test or session with their psychologist.

 “Permission to speak, sir.”

 “Granted.”

 “I’m sorry, but my utter failure? In what may I ask? The Paris affair?”

 “Exactly.”

Akira inhales while thinking he should just let Michael continue with whatever he has to ay about him. Again, he doesn’t survive with whatever it is they think about him, he repeats that in his mind. He also repeats that he is above getting mad or sensitive about what these white collar, dumb members of the service who never held a gun or killed anyone or rescued any hostage or done anything remarkable think of him. They have no idea what he does and yet they think they can catalogue his performance as a failure when he was the one to rescue all the hostages that had been abandoned while trying to capture someone who used to get his dick sucked on a daily by everyone in Devilman –hell, even Akira himself admired the dude.

But people have a tendency to show they aren’t who you think they are, especially in environments like the one Akira moves around. So while everyone in Devilman had been hell bent on capturing Moyuru Koda –ex Devilman agent and current fugitive– Akira had been working like the bitch he is to rescue the hostages left behind, the ones that had been abandoned because everyone was trying to butcher their colleague turned traitor. The ones Akira and Moyuru had been sent to save in the original plan, the original ‘Paris affair’.

Which yes, it’s true, it was sloppy to say the least. Actually sloppy sounds too merciful. The whole plan had been pure shit because Akira remembers how he had followed none of the procedures he was supposed to because all of a sudden he was alone and in charge of the whole rescue.

It had been shit, truly.

But he had done it, everyone had survived and yet the higher ups kept up to date bitching him about not helping with capturing Moyuru. Which, fucking bullshit, not only according to Akira but to every other agent that Akira spoke with. However, that doesn’t stop the higher ups from calling the whole mission a failure even if it hadn’t been Akira’s fault.

 “The Paris affair was smooth, sir. Or as smooth as it can be when an agent is left alone to deal with a group of hostages.”

 “The Paris affair was smooth because you had backup in a mission that wasn’t difficult at all”

  _“The fuck”._ And the voice in his head is higher to show the indignation and disbelief. He just can’t believe it, is he really being reprimanded for that? Are they really taking measures due to that? “Sir, in the Paris affair I only had backup from the HQ, but then everyone had left.”

 “To accomplish a higher goal.”

 And of course they would see capturing Moyuru as a higher goal, they had to punish him for disobedience and for whatever other term they legally have for what the guy did. And of course a rescue mission wasn’t that big, even when later they did send Ryo to the news –what a fucking surprise, right?– to talk about how an agent in Devilman had heroically saved the hostages while having no backup. Because that’s the only use they have for Akira, apparently, to use his accomplishments to then fuck him dry all over again.

 “No, the Paris affair was smooth because I’m actually good at what I do. I may lack many things, sir, but I’m not sloppy when on duty.” He retorts while he tries, _really hard_ , not to come across as disrespectful. Although, it’s a task that is proving to be quite difficult as Akira is being questioned. He thinks that maybe pointing out the word ‘sir’ will help –it doesn’t. He knows he is out of place, since he is speaking way too much when permission hasn’t been granted, deep down he is actually quite defensive this may bring even more consequences to the point he thinks about not talking at all.

 But he is in deep shit already so he continues trying to prove his point. Even as he tries, he still doesn’t have any authority on this particular case and he is reminded of that with what comes from Michael’s mouth next, interrumpting him and cutting his arguments.

 “Akira Fudo, due to your last results in Devilman’s assignments, and considering how the new policy of the place is encouraging teamwork, you’ll be assigned a partner.” It sounds like a sentence, a death sentence, he can actually feel the already tied rope around his neck tightening. Somewhere inside his brain, red sirens are booming, red flags are wildly moving, spelling danger all over the place –just like anytime he interacts with Michael, but this time it’s just ten or twenty times worse. His gut tells him this is not good and he has a hunch, an awful hunch.

 He doesn’t even take the time to question how sketchy everything is and how incompatible with Devilman’s policy it is. He doesn’t think of any hidden motives or possibilities, he is angry so he can’t. He is blind due to the douche in front of him not even thinking he deserves to be faced while these news are given. He is angry because of his condescending and belittling way of addressing Akira in general, not just now –but this time is even worse, he is passed mocking him and directly addressing him as if he was a toddler. And last but not least, he is angry because he can, that’s the only right he has left.

 But he doesn’t consider the fact that getting this pissed while not having a way to release said anger against the people who are the cause of it is what eventually constipates him. And that’s Akira, he just can’t see past his nose or have a long term vision when he is mad at someone.

 That and his survival instincts are one of the few assets he knows keep him alive. After all, even if it is physically possible, he acknowledges he was able to kill a man by literally biting his throat off –in a sort of Rick Grimes fashion– thanks to desperation and plain ire. And he also knows he was able to come up with that idea thanks to his quick thinking when it comes to life or dead situations. That and the enough anger as to actually do it, again, it was physically possible but he needed that extra fuel to go that extra mile.

 Because it had been disgusting even for him. But he did to survive even when it was a gruesome way to kill someone.

 He is good, he can do his job and that’s why he can’t understand why he all of a sudden needs a nanny in the service’s ayes.

 “Sir, we were talking about something els-“

 “Has permission been granted, agent?” And Akira hates him even more for pulling the boss card against any of his complaints. However, he knows he has a point, he hadn’t been allowed to speak. So he answers with a clear but dry “No, sir. My apologies, sir”

 “As I was saying, we still have to inform the other assets about this new policy, but considering you were already cited today to get the compulsory documents for the finished mission.” He keeps on informing him and his stomach is feeling even worse, because he knows that life just seems to have him as his constant bitch. And this that was coming next was probably a reminder of how little control he had over his own life.

 Also, his stomach is already twisting because he is definitely going to be constipated thanks to this issue.

 “Therefore, here you are, your new partner’s folder. Study it and in two weeks you’ll have a quiz, we need to make sure every couple knows his assigned partner’s information by heart. Also, training with him starts tomorrow.” And at the mention of so much information the boy wants to rip his head off. However, what doesn’t escape his attention is the fact that Michael mentions a _“he”_ as his partner.

 “You can go now, agent. Ah, and another thing, this news is going to be addressed tomorrow at the general assembly, up to then I hope we can count with your discretion.” Michael pressures while still having politeness laced in his tone. Akira assures him but his tone doesn’t sound pleasing, it sounds borderline disrespectful.

 He prays to the heavens it is not the person he thinks he is just as he is getting out of Michael’s office as fast as he can while still looking not affected at all by the creepy dude. The sudden light once he is in the hallway hits him hard and he has to close his eyes for a couple of seconds until he gets used to the brightness. It actually manages to remind him of waking up in the hospital.

 Akira stops and thinks he should know, like a band-aid, the faster you remove it then the better and less painful the whole issue is. Also, his hands are already sweaty by now, nerves and anger mixing in his stomach and chest as he takes deep breaths to calm himself down. It’s unhealthy, as his mother always tells him, to get as worked up as he gets when he knows there’s no useful use for that anger.

 He breathes and counts, trying to ignore that very bad hunch plaguing him. Again, everything could always be worse, he thinks and tries to remain positive. It can always be worse, his mantra by now. However, as he opens the folder and sees those well-known, blue eyes and blond hair, he doesn’t know if he can be positive and think of a scenario that could be worse than this one.

 

__________________________

 

 

Akira leaves the HQ after trying to convince the guys he is all neat-o and ready to fight again at least a couple of rounds. However, none of them want to even try to listen to him since they all know it is bullshit at it’s finest. Also, none of them want to face the wrath of Akira’s mother if she happens to find out they’ve been sparring with him when he is still quite delicate. Akira calls them a way less dignified synonym of coward –“You fucking pussies, all of you,” he yells while pointing fingers– and leaves.

He yelled a little bit but didn’t feel the urge to punch any of them for denying him, so he thought to himself that maybe, just maybe, he was actually getting better at controlling his feelings.

Or maybe it was the painkillers and the lithium.

But, again, he knows the training he’ll do with his ‘partner’ –he spats the word inside his mind if that’s even possible– will be nothing physical just yet, by the end of the week he might get to punch him and he smiles for a second at the possibility while getting to his extremely not subtle motorcycle.

The ride to his flat is fast since traffic seemed to be close to none, which he appreciates but at the same time feels disappointed about because he kind of wanted to have some conflict with a random nobody so he could blow some steam. But at the same time he figures it’s better, he can get home fast, cook or order some very unhealthy food and cuddle with Pocket while watching whatever it is Netflix throws at him –even when the last suggestions had been quite on the shitty spectrum, but he still has some faith.

However, as soon as he gets home he realises he actually has some work to do, which is reading the file completely, thing he didn’t do at the HQs because he had been too busy stomping his way out of it after calling all his colleagues ‘fucking pussies’ for not sparring with him. So he changes to his slippers, like always, while Pocket purrs and begs for attention. At this Akira thinks his cat really did miss him, maybe too much. _‘Should I get another cat so that she doesn’t feel so lonely?’_ he evaluates and thinks he really is a shitty owner if he is just noticing how much his cat actually misses him.

He looks for some beer he knows he has and he finds it, although not in the exact amount he remembered. Ah, true, Miko had said she had taken her pay from his house. But two and a half litres of beer is too much, even if she hadn’t had them all at once. However, as soon as he decides to play whatever music Miko has been listening while staying at his place, he is sure –oh he really does know– that she had those two and a half litres in just a night. Or at least that’s what he can make up from the fact Sinead O’Connor is suddenly back on his playlist after sometime of being gone.

Akira frowns and settles for making a mental note of getting more beer, hoping not to forget but when it is related to food he doesn’t, and another one about calling her once he finishes reading the files. Also, he needs to tell her what he is being forced into before she finds out thanks to someone else and she personally emasculates him for not telling her.

He really prefers to stay away from knives for a while.

Instead, and to kill two birds with one stone, he decides to call her while reading the file, crossing fingers that he can actually multitask effectively for once. He grabs his phone and sits on his sofa, sipping beer and placing his feet crossed on the coffee table. Pocket gets closer and lays on his side while he scratches her chin lazily.

 _“Are you in love with me or what?”_ She greets.

“Maybe,” Akira answers once Miko picks up her phone. “It’s been a day and I’m already missing you, can you hear Sinead? She is helping me cope”

Silence. Akira knows she heard him.

 _“Fuck, the playlist, I forgot,”_ the girl on the other side of the phone complains. _“Easy tiger, everything is cool, it was just an emotional night.”_

“Are you sure?” He tries to sound both inquisitive and reliable, which is no easy feat for him and his garbage truck, straight out from the seven circle of hell type of voice.

_“Positive._

Akira doesn’t trust her dismissive tone at all, after all he really knows Miko and the way she gets when she doesn’t want people meddling in her affairs. Problem being she forgets Akira is her friend and he will meddle.

“I’ll let it slip this time but next time I see you, you are telling me.”

_“Whatever makes you feel confident baby, you are the Julius Caesar of our relationship”_

“You bet I am,” he grins and then remembers the other reason behind calling his friend. “I have bad news straight from the HQ”

 _“I guess that’s the only kind of straight you can get.”_ She tells him while he opens the folder full of papers and files and honestly, don’t they know drives exist? Jesus, they are so old. Akira turns the pages singlehandedly while holding the phone between his shoulder and cheek. He comes across that too familiar for his taste face and turns the page more aggressively than needed, which makes Pocket move her ear at the sound of it. He is a mature grown up who vents his anger on a piece of paper, he absolutely reeks of adulthood.

“I’m being serious. They have a new working policy,” Akira begins and he already hears Miko huffing. “They want to, and let me quote this because it’s just golden, ‘encourage teamwork’ so you can only guess what that means”

 _“We are finally stopping with this whole messy excuse for a secret service and we are becoming part of McDonald’s, right?”_ She says sarcastically. _“Imagine that, burgers all day every day, that’s my personal wet dream”._

“Yeah, not alone, but I’ll disappoint you”.

_“Wouldn’t be the first time”._

“Or the last,” He gets to the page where the whole ‘PROJECT’ –yes, it’s just that dramatic it has to be written in full capitals– is explained and he starts to read a little bit of it to Miko, who he can already picture shaking her head and frowning so much her grandchildren are going to feel their forehead muscles hurt once they are born.

_“Neat, truly inspiring, a fucking buddy system, what the actual fuck”._

“I know, and it just gets better, they have so many points explaining the advantages of working in teams,” Akira laughs miserably. “Maybe as if they knew we were going to disagree to this whole bullshit”.

 _“Devilman’s foundations are based on being cutthroat. Devilman was able to cut all other services and monopolized everything. Devilman has The Selection which is basically a battle royale rip off,”_ she sighs and Akira hears her tapping against some sort of surface, she must be doing that quite strongly for him to hear it. _“Maybe they were forced to do it? But anyways it’s just off, it’s sketchy to say the least”._

“Indeed,” he answers dumbly while reading a particular point he found interesting. He turns the page looking for something highlighted since they always highlight something in every document they are given and he finally gets to it. It’s the last page and it’s highlighted in bright red, as if saying ‘Look at me, I’m important’. Akira knows he should read the whole document, which he will eventually –he won’t– but now he feels like a moth drowned to a light bulb and so he reads that part.

Miko is still rambling about the possibilities of Devilman being forced to doing this, of this maybe being a kind of damage control for being kind of sloppy with some affairs they have dealt with. But she still wonders who was able to make the whole service change something that was as elemental as working individually which was basically they way they were said they would have to work once they had applied for The Selection.

_“Hey, Cannibal Corpse, are you listening? Are you eating you cat now?”_

And he is cut from reading. Even though the jab is extremely soft, he frowns.

“Really? Cannibal corpse? Not creative,” Akira dismisses while focusing again in the huge and red lettering from the last paragraph of the contract part of the file. It was basically a reminder of the conditions for the team to continue operating and a warning _‘that if there was any reason for the management of Devilman to suspect of-‘_ blah blah blah same thing that he read for the original contract. “Also, I would never eat my cat, I love her.”

_“You really are a furry, Jesus Christ.”_

“Hey! She’s my baby,” _‘As already expressed in indent thirteen (13), you have now full authorization to neutrilise-“_ Akira stops reading to roll his eyes at the obvious copy and paste from the original accord. “Honestly, nothing much changes from what I’m reading”.

 _“Well, they can’t go around changing things so drastically all of a sudden, maybe this is a kind of trial?”_ Akira nods and then remembers his friend can’t see him, so he has to actually verbalise his thoughts.

“Maybe” And then something catches his attention again, something interesting enough to completely mute both Miko and Pocket who is now all of a sudden in front of him and meowing for food like the spoiled cat she is. Akira’s eyes widen once he finishes the phrase and he reads it again, and then again, and then once more just to be sure he is not hallucinating because those pain killers were really strong. But he had never experienced hallucinations due to them.

So there’s only one answer to his disbelief and that is that what he is reading is real

“Miko, wait,” he says and sits straight, both hands now on the sheet of paper and he inclines his body to get closer to it because he can’t believe it, at all. He forgets his phone for a while and it falls on the cushioned sofa next to him and the distance muffles Miko’s protests.

_‘… and we remind all agents that neutralising a threat –according to what were exposed as different threats that may be encountered in the field in indent twelve (12)–  also includes the immediate, decided and authorized neutralisation of the assigned partner if he/she were to transgress in any of the explained points in indent fourteen (14) or if he/she found himself/herself involved in any of the activities listed in indent fifteen (15) –activities that according to the original…”_

Akira tunes out for a second or two, and then it becomes three and suddenly he has been staring blankly at the sheet of paper for more than a minute. By this time Miko is yelling at him in a mixture of worry and anger that is extremely odd but that for some reason Miko is able to get in her tone. Maybe he misunderstood? Right? There’s no way Devilman is giving him the written –so they can’t backtrack from that, it is written– authorization to kill Ryo is he happened to fuck up. Because underneath all that unnecessarily tricky and flamboyant language that Akira hates, that’s the main idea: He can kill Ryo as if he was an enemy of the service if he fucked something up according to Devilman’s definition of fucking up.

 _“The fuck?”_ he thinks again while searching for the phone and not letting the page go.

 _“… and for the last time, if this is some sort of shit you are giving me in a sort of big brother kind of protectiveness because I want to fuck your sister who is not really your sister –which, honestly, the fact that you are so overprotective of her will get you in trouble and people are already confused about your relationship, so, yeah, weird by the way, close to creepy–, I’m sorry, one doesn’t decide who to fall in love with, okay? Don’t judge me, you have no right, should I remind you-“_ Akira gets the phone away from his ear once he hears his friend go off like that.

“Miko! Yo, chill I already told you, you have my blessings what the fuck are you even on about?” because he can’t believe she is still hanging on the topic of Akira not wanting her to date Miki. Miko, who keeps justifying her cowardice and not asking the other girl out behind some sort of respect for their bro-code. One thing Akira never even knew they had because if it was for him he would lock the two of them inside a room and force Miko to spill the beans. “It’s not that, I was reading something.”

 _“Ah, cool then, tell me”._ Her tone is all business again

“They are authorising me to kill Ryo as a part of this buddy system of theirs”

And Miko is silent for a second until she goes _“Huh?”_ in a sign of true eloquence. However, Akira doesn’t laugh at her since his reaction had been rereading the whole paragraph again and again until he was sure it was real.

“Yeah, huh, same.”

Silence, then Miko speaks again.

 _“Okay, until they don’t give me the contract I won’t believe you,_ ” she starts. _“And even if it actually happens that and you get to fulfill your wet dream of putting a bullet between his eyes, don’t do it until he tells me where he bought that cake. It was the bomb, really.”_

He ends the call and stares into the distance, wondering why he remains friends with Miko.  

And another thing he wonders about, but he won’t admit to it that easily, is what Ryo will think about this whole subject. After all, if Akira had the right –no, obligation– to kill Ryo if he had to, then Ryo had the exact same right to kill Akira.

No, wait, it was an obligation.

His phone rings again and he is met with a message from Miko.

 _Sorry, not sorry._ It read and underneath there was a screenshot she took from one of the threads in the forums.

For a second he didn’t think much because it was just another cannibal meme, but when he saw the rest of it he threw the phone while yelling “motherfucker!”. Pocket thankfully hadn’t been there to witness Akira’s meltdown over the updated cannibal plus diarrhea meme, which apparently was the new trend.

 

 

 


End file.
